A question for single, straight, adult men only

vhmPook · 11 months

Why the weird limitations?

A question for single

and

Lets say you had a girlfriend or sex partner

don't mesh well.

[deleted] · 11 months

Would you still sleep with her?

No because this has kind of happened to me. My ex agreed in the beginning that if anything happened we would not keep the baby. She took a pregnancy test one day that came out positive and suddenly decided she would love to be a mom and wanted us to become a family. the test was a false positive/we went to the doctor and even tested a few more times. Found out she only told me she agreed to an abortion so I would stay with her and that she stopped taking her birth control (I was still wearing condoms).

JohnnyWasHere · 11 months

No.

Simple question, simple answer.

Noedel · 11 months

If my GF was against abortion, I would have more to worry about than getting a baby. I would worry about a very big ideological difference between the two of us. That might just be a big buzzkill.

zoink001100 · 11 months

No. You're gone from my life.

weelass · 11 months

No. If two people aren't emotionally, financially, or otherwise ready to raise a child, it's a stupid idea to keep one. If my girlfriend pulled this on me it would sound like a huge red flag of manipulation.

Mercfh · 11 months

Probably not, it's not worth the Risk. But then again im ALWAYS double-protecting (AKA Condoms AND Birth Control) and if by some FREAK accident she got pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion?

Im sorry but no i couldn't sleep with her: 1. I don't want Kids 2. Im probably going to choose to be with someone that has similar thoughts 3. If by some freak accident I had a kid.....I would probably resent it. 4. I had to have full custody? fuck no.

tl;dr fuck no. Sex is not worth the possibility of my life being ruined.

Obviously this isn't Hypothetical though OP? So why do you ask?

weelass · 11 months

So what I am wondering is how many guys actually bother to ask EVERY woman what their stance is on abortion and what their plan would be if the unthinkable were to happen. I feel that most guys are so detached from the idea of pregnancy and they don't consider it their responsibility just because they are not the ones that carry the child, yet they were 50 % responsible for creating it. Am I correct in this assumtion?

NegativeChirality · 11 months

/sigh/ yes. But I'm stacking birth control methods, at a minimum withdrawal + pills or withdrawal + condoms. And making sure I know the fastest places to get Plan B.

Probably the worst week of my life was when my first girlfriend and I had a pregnancy scare, after one of our first times having sex, no less. She would have never gotten an abortion (strong Catholic)...so both of our lives would have been ruined had she actually been pregnant.

From that point on, I always pulled out, even though she was on the pill. I would wear a condom if she missed taking her birth control by even an hour or two.

It's a terrible way to live, though. More than anything, this shit makes me angry: angry that men don't have a viable birth control option besides condoms that we can be responsible for. Full custody? Fuck, you're even making it sound easy.

You know what's more likely to happen? Getting fucked for life by child support for a baby you never wanted. And it's just fucking accepted by society!

WhiteRastaJ · 11 months

Not single, but let me rephrase:

Is sex worth giving up the next 20 years of your life and the quarter million dollars it costs to raise a kid these days? Is that orgasm going to be so good that, when you're up at 2 am for late night feedings or dealing with colic, you'll fondly remember blowing that load and tell yourself it was worth it?

Hell to the no.

She has the kid due to her moral position but you get all the responsibility for it? That'd be like me killing hookers but you going to hell (if it existed).

BlazerMorte · 11 months

Not a chance in hell. She doesn't want an abortion, would rather go through nine torturous months in order to have a child she doesn't want just so she can dump it on me and cut and run? This 'hypothetical' girl sounds immature, shortsighted, and frankly, stupid. Dealbreaker.

timsstuff · 11 months

Ha ha no. I've been fixed so joke's on her. Wait, is she announcing that she's pregnant already because I've already slept with her and she's trying to convince me it's mine, or she's speaking hypothetically? If it's the latter I'll bang her till she's actually pregnant then she's on her own. The former, she's screwed.

Beau_Vine · 11 months

Nope.

(That's assuming I would not want to have a child with her - but it's doubtful we'd manage to get to a point in relationship where I would, since it is a subject I bring up at some point).

Good question though, you probably get downvoted as an extension of "nope". It's very important to be aware of this issue in a relationship.

physicsdem · 11 months

This is part of the checklist. Before you sleep with someone you should absolutely know what they want to do if one of you gets pregnant (historically only the girl has gotten pregnant). A child can so easily disrupt your life that it is just too risky not to have a plan laid out. With that said, I have not slept with any girl who has told me she would keep the baby. It is just too risky and you can always go masturbate.

[deleted] · 11 months

Nope. Not worth the risk at all.

JustOneVote · 11 months

Hold on a second. Her plan is to have the baby, because she doesn't believed in abortion, but then gives me the baby to raise by myself, because she's not ready to be a mother? Is that the gist of it? She's just going to give up custody, like, "hey, here you go! I'll be sending over some checks" So, what if I'm not ready to be the father, does she not give a shit about that? What if I don't want custody? Exactly when does she plan on dumping this kid she thought was so goddamn precious 9 months earlier on my lap? Right after it's born? When she gets home from the hospital? Maybe she wants to play mommy for a few months, and then get rid of it? "I have moral qualms about abortion, so I'm not getting one if I get pregnant. You get no choice in the matter, obviously, because it's my body. But I expect you to raise the kid by yourself, because my compassion for the child only lasts 9 months. You also get no choice in that matter."

This would be the last conversation we would have.

No_Easy_Buckets · 11 months

It'd be a serious turn off

LancePeterson · 11 months

She could also give it up for adoption.

LEIFey · 11 months

I'm not against someone being pro-Life with their own potential baby, but I don't want kids right now either, so giving me full custody isn't really much of a concession.

elasto · 11 months

40M here. I am snipped, so yes I would be with her.

wildmonkeymind · 11 months

If it weren't for full custody being pushed upon me... maybe yes? But otherwise, oh god no. Putting the kid up for adoption, maybe? That I could be ok with.

wild-tangent · 11 months

Basically, you don't want to consider abortion but you are taking other forms of BC, but don't want to freak out the guy you're thinking about getting with.

I got into a relationship all of a couple days ago. And I'm in college. Answer is no. Answer will always be "no."

wolfcry0 · 11 months

rkmauria · 11 months

hell no. I'd dip the fuck out

rapiertwit · 11 months

I'm married, but, considering that I wasn't born in a country with arranged marriage, I think I can answer from the single man's POV (straight and adult I've got covered).

Fuck NO.

A) You want complete say over the outcome of an unwanted pregnancy, but you don't want to bear any of the consequences? That kind of person doesn't deserve sexual gratification by me.

B) A woman who thinks she can actually "give" me full custody of a child - like signing over the title to a car, is hopelessly ignorant. See above.

billyhomeboy · 11 months

I dropped out of college so I could answer this question.

No.

myaskmenthrowaway · 11 months

Nope, no sex. I do not have sex with anyone until I know her stance on abortion. I am simply not going to have a kid until I'm ready, and I'm definitely not paying child support, so any kind of accidents before I'm ready would have to be terminated. I have a career I like and I'm not letting a stupid accident hold me back.

Also, this is the kind of issue that fundamentally determines whether I fit well with a girl or not. I wouldn't even date someone who told me abortions were off the table. And wanting to stick me with the kid? That's just the absolute peak of not taking personal responsibility for your actions; at least an abortion involves making a serious choice and sticking with it. Frankly, if you don't want an abortion and don't want a kid, then you really shouldn't be having sex.

DL34 · 11 months

I would look into male birth control, always use condoms, etc. Other than that, it would be fine. It's cool that you told him that though, instead of him finding out the hard way!

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