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Tattoo artists, ever do a tattoo even though you thought it was the dumbest fucking idea ever? Do tell (self.AskReddit)
submitted 1 year ago* by Testicle_Festival
I see posts of the worst tattoos ever, and I always think what went through the artists head while doing it.
Edit : holy shit, i can't keep up reading comments. I'm glad so many other people can talk about this.
[–]johnyutah 717 points718 points719 points 1 year ago
I was sitting on the train when a drunk Scottish dude turned around to me and yelled, "I have tattoos of ducks!!!". He then lifted his sleeve, and there was a mallard, another duck, another, all good looking natural ducks... Then he lifted his other sleeve... Daffy Duck, Scrooge Duck, and other cartoon ducks. Then lifted his pants leg, more ducks. All about 2-5 inches tall. Then he showed his belly. A BIG FUCKING DUCK.
[–]kerelberel 100 points101 points102 points 1 year ago
This man is a hero
[–]electricwolves 1674 points1675 points1676 points 1 year ago
this was at the time when i was apprenticing, and still not able to actually do tattoos, but a girl came in and asked my boss for a tattoo of her boyfriend's penis on her forearm. She brought in 3 pictures of it and her specifications were to make this huge vein in the middle stand out and have the penis cum but do the cum in UV ink. At first everyone thought she was joking, including the other clients and started laughing. But then she shot him the most serious look and said "do you want my fucking money or not, assholes?! if you do i suggest you shut the fuck up ". still trying to grasp the fact that this was actually happening, my boss told her to take a seat, and she actually went through it. best part is that she came back 3 months later asking about where to get a tattoo removed becausae apparently her and her boyfriend split.
[–]condescending-twit 1565 points1566 points1567 points 1 year ago
best part is that she came back 3 months later asking about where to get a tattoo removed becausae apparently her and her boyfriend split.
Whoa there. Didn't see THAT coming...
[–]jewche_bag 2297 points2298 points2299 points 1 year ago
You would've needed the black light on for that.
[–]Storming 652 points653 points654 points 1 year ago
Oh lawdy, reading this makes me feel so much better about decisions I've made in my life.
[–]orthod0ks 142 points143 points144 points 1 year ago
I dunno. A woman has never tattoo'd my penis on her arm. I feel like I've made a mistake somewhere.
[–]brianblessedismydad 165 points166 points167 points 1 year ago*
I've a similar penis-related tattoo story. A cousin of mine tattoo'd a guy when he was just starting out. The guy came to him and said he wanted his catchphrase tattoo'd on his side. Apparently he used to say "Suck my dick!" a lot. They were discussing the tattoo and the guy mentioned he had "Chubby" right above his cock and balls (this is kinda important)
Long story short, his design was an image of Freddie Mercury sucking him off with his catchphrase of "Suck my dick!" around it. Here's the tattoo. EDIT: NSFW image if you REALLY can't tell from the description.
Apparently he was going on holiday with his girlfriend a few days later and he hadn't told her that he had gotten the tattoo.
[–]dubdubkingking 358 points359 points360 points 1 year ago
My high-school art teacher designed a tattoo of a unicorn with a boner, she got it and some years later a small skateboard company bought the design and put it on a board
[–]CommieCanuck 209 points210 points211 points 1 year ago
http://i.imgur.com/vTGTK.jpg
[–]Schismatron 1857 points1858 points1859 points 1 year ago
I am a tattoo artist and the stupidest thing I ever tattooed was the letters WMD (weapon of mass destruction) in army-stencil-font just above some dude's junk. If that wasn't bad enough, he was very overweight and I had to wrassle with his belly the whole time. I also had to shave his overgrown pubes that stunk of nut butter. Not my finest moment.
Oh, and his other idea was "Lucky You" but he didn't have enough money.
[–]LuxNocte 1442 points1443 points1444 points 1 year ago
I suspect you were the last person ever to see it.
[–]MrMastodon 1326 points1327 points1328 points 1 year ago
Tattoo recipient included.
[–]usmc2493 1337 points1338 points1339 points 1 year ago
Nut butter ಠ_ಠ
[–]Kaskad 211 points212 points213 points 1 year ago
I can't believe it's Nut Butter!!
[–]Drunk_Picard 185 points186 points187 points 1 year ago
I finally have a word for that smell now! Vinegar-y ball-sweat just didn't cut it.
[–]cerebral_prolapse 752 points753 points754 points 1 year ago
BALL-samic!
[–]jeremyfrankly 265 points266 points267 points 1 year ago
Well you've finally helped me kick my salad habit
[–]beedogs 74 points75 points76 points 1 year ago
you don't have to do that! there are plenty of different dressings you can use when tossing a salad!
[–]aliferber07 656 points657 points658 points 1 year ago
I was hanging out with a friend who is a tattoo artist while he was at work. A girl of 16 came in with her mother to co-sign for the tattoo. The young girl wanted a fully filled in, black Nike swoop on the side of her neck to "get her boyfriend back". At first I thought this must be a joke until the friend made a slightly uncomfortable laugh/throat clearing noise and said "what?". The mother then interjected and confirmed that this is what her daughter wanted and would get because the customer is always right. My friend never actually gave her the tattoo and eventually ended up kicking the girl and her mother out (they caused quite the scene), but he did receive a picture in the mail of the 16 y.o.'s brand new, shitty looking Nike swoop that she will forever have on the side and partial front of her neck, along with a nasty little note attached....so obviously someone did it.
[–][deleted] 299 points300 points301 points 1 year ago
How....just....how the hell does a tattoo of a Nike swoop lure a boyfriend back to someone? Baffles me!
[–]juzcallmeg0d 546 points547 points548 points 1 year ago
He needed to know that she would "do it".
[–]thescrapplekid 508 points509 points510 points 1 year ago
what she forgot was he likes Adidas
[–]RaraOoooRara 1089 points1090 points1091 points 1 year ago
I was in the chair getting work done and decided to ask my artist what the weirdest tattoo he had ever drawn was. He said that one day he had a couple come in to his shop. I can't remember what the guy's profession was, but I do remember that his wife was an elementary teacher at one of the local schools. Also, they were apparently way into some serious S&M stuff.
Anyway, the husband wanted to get a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for Master on the head of his penis. The wife wanted to get the symbol for slave on the inside of one of her vaginal lips. My artist seemed to think these two were part of some form of BDSM subculture called Goreans. The wife was going to go first.
My artist said the tattoo was rather difficult to do and pretty personal (seeing how he had to fold her back to get at it) but apparently the lady took it like a champ. Her husband, however, had to leave the room.
In between the pieces my artist stepped out for a smoke break. The husband came out and said that he didn't think he could go through with his end of the bargain. They went back inside, told the wife, who didn't say anything for a second then looked at my artist and asked him to tattoo the symbol for "master" on the inside of her other vaginal lip.
Same process. Same results. F*cking champ.
Afterward the couple apparently walked out with the wife leading the way and her husband staring at the floor.
TL;DR Couple wants S&M "Slave" "Master" genital tatts. Wife gets hers, husband backs out. Wife gets both "slave" and "Master" in her vagina; pwns husband.
[–]PoisonSoup 168 points169 points170 points 1 year ago
Most Gorean men are largely pathetic.
I mean, this is the Scientology of kink and all.
[–]ThorneLea 70 points71 points72 points 1 year ago
I've come across a few. One actually burst into tears when I gave him a verbal dressing down.
In case anyone was wondering he was advocating the legalization of violent rape.
[–]arreter 415 points416 points417 points 1 year ago
A Jack in the Box employee by my school has "Fear no man, trust no bitch" tattooed across her NECK. I always lol as I walk away with my curly fries.
[–]Limiate 286 points287 points288 points 1 year ago
Everlasting jobstopper tat right there.
[–]Thinksforfun 1552 points1553 points1554 points 1 year ago
As a tattoo artist I hear this a lot. But the only thing that pops in my head is one my old bosses tattooed beard stubble on a guy with a sparse beard. eventually covering his face with a fake five o'clock shadow.
To put it into perspective, this gentleman brought his own lightbulbs into the bathroom at the shop to make sure it looked good under those specific lighting conditions. ...ya I still have trouble wrapping my head around it.
[–]zapbark 979 points980 points981 points 1 year ago
I asked my tattoo artist the same question while I was search for something to say.
She had an interesting response, essentially saying "Even the dumbest thing can be meaningful to the person, and serves as a future reminder of that feeling of meaning they have right now"
[–]OneBigBug 649 points650 points651 points 1 year ago
And if there's one thing you want in life, it's to be reminded of things you thought were a good idea when you were 19 forever and ever and ever.
[–][deleted] 1 year ago
[deleted]
[–]Tina_Feys_Mons_Pubis 313 points314 points315 points 1 year ago
This site has pics (it was posted in /r/offbeat a few days ago ago).
[–]Dbawhat 129 points130 points131 points 1 year ago
My seargent in the Army wanted to get a tribal design around his navel, which isn't very manly in the first place. He went and picked a design out of a book and the tattoo artist asked him if he was sure, my seargent told of course. Little did he realize when the design was placed on his stomach it made a giant tribal heart around his belly button.
[–]likebigbuttons 947 points948 points949 points 1 year ago*
A friend of friend had rainbow suspenders tatooed all the way on the front and back of his body. He also has them on the inside of his thumbs so he can look like he's got them strapped in.
Edit: Here is the pic. I created a new link cause I thought this was already buried. Rainbow Suspenders
[–]a_haar 1687 points1688 points1689 points 1 year ago*
I kid you not, I have a friend who got a picture of my other friend's face on his ass, with a funny caption up above. He was 100% sober at the time.
He is now in the military, which makes for an awkward conversation in the showers. I will try to find a picture of it to share with you all.
EDIT: There's the magnificent piece of art. (the friend who is pictured on the ass goes by "Buster" which got shortened to "Boosta" which got shortened to "Boota")
He claims he is going to get the caption "I like chess" tattooed underneath it when he gets the time.
[–][deleted] 365 points366 points367 points 1 year ago
All I can take from this story is that you guys really really suck as shortening nicknames.
[–]allthecats 1007 points1008 points1009 points 1 year ago
This is absolutely fantastic in every way.
[–]Smoke_That_Shit 346 points347 points348 points 1 year ago
I'm nearly speechless. I'd be... so honoured.
[–]a_haar 943 points944 points945 points 1 year ago
The best part was the grand revealing. It was on Buster's birthday. He pulled down his pants and yelled "WHO WANTS TO SLAP BUSTER IN THE FACE!?" Again, 100% sober.
[–]afcagroo 856 points857 points858 points 1 year ago
This guy is either one of the best bro's on the planet or seriously fucking disturbed.
Maybe both.
[–]VenomousJackalope 429 points430 points431 points 1 year ago
Yes. I'm not in the biz anymore, but dumb-as-fuck tattoos were fun to do.
I hear a lot of artists who won't do things they think are bad ideas, but in my opinion, if the design itself is well-executed, it doesn't reflect poorly on the tattooist. Really bad ideas didn't generally make it to my portfolio (for example, silhouettes of the ICP hatchet-dude) unless they were an example of technical or artistic prowess, which the most common stupid tattoos are not among. Generally logos.
A lot of people think this is stupid, but we had a Coop flash set at my shop and only one person ever got anything off of it and it was that. Hands-down one of my favorite tattoos. The kid was a fucking trooper, too. It was his first tattoo, he got it HUGE and on his ribcage. Took me almost six hours and he never made a peep.
One of the absolute dumbest I ever saw was one my boss did--this guy got lettering in a font similar to this but a little more difficult to immediately recognize as English. It said "fuck" and "you" on either side of his neck. I wouldn't have done it, but my boss was kind of a sicko and enjoyed doing things like that.
We got a guy once who wanted a huge swastika on his chest, American History X style. He told us he'd been to three shops and no one would do it. So my boss did it. I was a little shocked, but after the guy left he said "I love it when people pay me to make their stupidity immediately visible to everyone."
Not all tattoo artists have that mentality. He was kind of an unpleasant guy, I didn't work for him very long.
[–]Stylux 522 points523 points524 points 1 year ago
"I love it when people pay me to make their stupidity immediately visible to everyone."
I don't disagree with his logic here.
[–]pers0n 616 points617 points618 points 1 year ago
My sister got a tramp stamp of my parents names.
[–]ieatbagels 385 points386 points387 points 1 year ago
My brother has a tramp stamp with a four leaf clover.
[–]Mephistia 150 points151 points152 points 1 year ago
My (now ex) sister in law has a few tattoos. The one that always gave me pause is the tramp stamp -- it's this giant piece that covers her lower back and spreads from hip to hip. In curling cursive font (with all the requisite curliques) is the word, "Princess". Behind it is a gold crown, and the whole thing is over a bunch of flowers.
It's not badly done, it's just one of those very, very rare tattoos that when I see it, I instantly flash forward about 60 years, to when she's being taken care of in a nursing home and the nurses giggle with each other at the desk about the 80 year old with the "Princess" tramp stamp.
When I first met her, she was 21 and pregnant, and married my soldier brother right before he deployed. I asked her once why she chose the design she did, and she said, "Because I am a Princess, and I deserve to be treated like one. So I'm reminding anyone who sleeps with me who they're sleeping with."
I said, "Yeah, but . . . aren't princesses, like, powerless? If you're going to be proclaiming your importance on your ass, shouldn't you go with "queen" or "empress" or "tsarina"?"
She said I was taking it too seriously and I just didn't understand.
[–]-RdV- 101 points102 points103 points 1 year ago
This sentence gave me cancer.
[–]four_chambers 726 points727 points728 points 1 year ago
A friend of mine told the story of his band being on tour and all deciding to get matching tattoos. They decided on a big ship with the words "DOWN IT GOES" underneath, but one guy didn't like that, so he wanted his to say "HELL ON WHEELS" instead.
They didn't point out until afterwards that "HELL ON WHEELS" underneath a boat makes no fucking sense.
[–][deleted] 242 points243 points244 points 1 year ago
Actually I think it makes the tattoo way cooler
[–]vearson26 785 points786 points787 points 1 year ago
Not a tattoo artist, but I knew a guy who got a butter-fly tattooed near his frontal beltline area. By "butter-fly," I mean a stick of butter with wings.
[–]godofallcows 160 points161 points162 points 1 year ago
90% of the "Dumbest" tattoos in this thread are fucking awesome.
[–]topright 209 points210 points211 points 1 year ago
It's OK to say 'lower abdomen' on the internet.
[–]exousic 83 points84 points85 points 1 year ago
It's OK to say 'pubic field' on the internet.
[–]Nongosu 176 points177 points178 points 1 year ago
It's OK to say 'above his cock' on the internet.
[–]vearson26 55 points56 points57 points 1 year ago
It was more northwest of his cock.
[–]shinobi8 385 points386 points387 points 1 year ago
I was in Amsterdam with the boys many moons ago, and wandering around town one overly indulgent day we wandered into tattoo parlour to see if we had the balls to gets something done to commemorate the epic trip. We didn't. However we came across a group of guys who made us look sober...apparently they didn't have enough cash to get any work done, so the artist said he would do them one for free, if they did it on their face...After quite some peer pressure, one guy goes for it. We watched as he got down on the chair and starts getting some celtic shit drawn on...was too painful to watch (and we were loosing our high) so decided to bounce. On the way out another artist took us aside and said ''don't worry, we're not actually gonna tattoo it, just draw it on in permanent marker...should teach him a lesson for getting so irresponsibly shitfaced' Apparently they did this quite frequently for laughs.
[–]acityinflorida 283 points284 points285 points 1 year ago
I'm no tattoo artist...but apparently neither was the guy that tattooed "No Fear" on my arm back in 1993.
[–]Katalytic 434 points435 points436 points 1 year ago
You know how there's the classic tattoo of a heart with a banner across it and "Mom" in fancy letters? My brother got a tattoo like that, except it read "Your Mom." He thinks it's hilarious. He said the tattoo artist "didn't get it."
I like to think that the artist knew in that moment what our family has always known: My brother is an idiot.
[–]deadbunny 135 points136 points137 points 1 year ago
I for one find that hilarious. Please high five your brother for me.
[–]garishbourne 279 points280 points281 points 1 year ago
A kid I know woke up one morning with a tattoo of Kermit the frog and underneath the picture was the caption "Remember Vietnam".
[–]jvaughn24 1235 points1236 points1237 points 1 year ago
I had a friend who got a huge side piece of a compass. The only problem - the tattoo artist forgot his cardinal directions. East is on the left side and west is on the right...
[–]hozjo 78 points79 points80 points 1 year ago
A girl I knew in high school got a ruler tattooed to scale on her inner thigh starting at her pussy.
[–][deleted] 3117 points3118 points3119 points 1 year ago
I worked in a small office consisting of mostly girls, a couple sales guys like myself and a manager/owner.
The girls were pretty dirty, always talking about their most recent car sex or bathroom sex adventure, etc...
One day they are talking tattoos and ask my manager if he has any. He says he doesn't want to talk about it. They push him and he gets really defensive but admits he has a gopher tattooed on his ass - he thought it would be funny years ago when he was "young and dumb". They want to see it - he refuses, tells them to get back to work.
Fast forward a few hours and we're all drinking in the office after hours on a Friday (norm for us). The girls get a few drinks into my manager and get him to agree to drop his shorts, for proof. He refuses but once 8 girls tell you to drop your pants (and one guy, oddly...) he finally says "fine!"
He tries pulling his jeans down a bit, "Can you see it?" everyone says no. He loosens his belt, tugs it down a bit more "now?" everyone says no. He finally bends over, moons them all and the guy says "Dude, we see your whole ass - where is the fucking gopher?"
My manager quickly brings his pants back up and says "Must have gone back into it's hole". Jaws dropped.
He slow-played it from word 1 over 8 hours prior. The best slow-play prank I'd ever personally witnessed. I clapped (then laughed at the dude for staring at his manager's ass)
[–]ericcsson6 1407 points1408 points1409 points 1 year ago
your manager is a goddamn genius
[–]este_hombre 336 points337 points338 points 1 year ago
Not gonna lie, I thought he was gonna poop.
[–]cakey138 379 points380 points381 points 1 year ago
"wanna see a gopher?" he asks while spreading his ass cheeks open to reveal a turd turtle heading out of his anus before quickly sucking it back in. "there's your fucking gopher!"
[–]BrotherThelonius 427 points428 points429 points 1 year ago
Reminds me of this: A female coworker told me she told these guys she had a tattoo of a mouse on her inner thigh. Same kinda deal, fast forward, she shows her thigh and there's nothing. She says, "Oh well pussy musta gotten it."
[–]thatsmytoast 511 points512 points513 points 1 year ago
I met a girl that had a tattoo right above her pelvic area. It was a picture of two boxing gloves that said "Hit it like a Champ". It was the greatest and worst tattoo I'd ever seen.
[–]silvrrwulf 1982 points1983 points1984 points 1 year ago
I was at a wedding, and this 55 year old guy keeps telling me he has Elmer Fudd tattooed on his ass. I laugh politely, say yeah sure, and blow him off. This dude is a character though; old pro body builder, crass and funny personality - played p&p D&D with my friends half his age. I'm wondering if he was just crazy enough to have done something like that.
"Come on, I'll show you."
While I really don't want to go to the men's room to examine his ass, by now I was sincerely curious. And sure enough, he drops his shorts and on his left butt cheek is a full color cartoon of Elmer Fudd pointing a shotgun at his asshole, with the caption "come out of that hole, you wasskally wabbit!"
Color me surprised.
Edit: typo.
[–][deleted] 481 points482 points483 points 1 year ago
This guy perhaps?
[–]Pyromaniac605 1676 points1677 points1678 points 1 year ago
I laugh politely, say yeah sure, and blow him off.
I don't think that came across how you meant it.
[–]Woodshadow 392 points393 points394 points 1 year ago
pug face on a fish.. wtf is that shit about
[–]mixmasterteapot 238 points239 points240 points 1 year ago
Like this?
[–]Amish_girl 987 points988 points989 points 1 year ago
A boy I went to high school with got "Pussy Monster" tattooed on his ass cheek. When his mom found out she was so upset he had to go back and get it changed to Bossy Monster.
[–][deleted] 1445 points1446 points1447 points 1 year ago
He should consider himself lucky. My parents would have just had the "Monster" part crossed out.
[–]TheSeashellOfBuddha 110 points111 points112 points 1 year ago
I like how your parents roll.
[–]Curvatureland 71 points72 points73 points 1 year ago*
This is a story I heard from a tattoo artist friend of mine, let's call him Joe.
There was a couple in Florida. The guy cheated on the girl and the girl dumped him. Shortly afterwards, the girl received a massive inheritance. The guy, seeing how he just missed the gravy train, begs for the girl to take him back, saying he'll do anything for her.
So she asks him if he'd be willing to get a tattoo for her, and he says anything. So they go to my friend's Joe tattoo shop. The girl takes out a legal sized sheet of paper and writes the most degrading and humiliating message she could, something along the lines of "I'm a cheating scumbag.. blah blah blah" and tells him to tattoo that on his arm.
Now my friend Joe wanted nothing to do this, so he passed this onto his boss. His boss pleaded with this man to reconsider this, but the guy was insistent "No, I love her, I made a mistake, and I'm willing to do anything for her, do it" So he goes ahead and tattoos this on his arm. Remember, it's a legal sized paper, it runs from his shoulder to past his elbows.
After it's done, the guy gets up to give the girl a hug. The girl just laughs at him and walks away. The end.
[–]themarkofmarks 1507 points1508 points1509 points 1 year ago
My friend's uncle got the picture of the Hamburger Helper glove on his ribcage.
[–]coffeeBot1 850 points851 points852 points 1 year ago
"See that, Brendan? It's the woman from Chiquita Banana. I got drunk one night, and now my body looks like a grocery store."
[–]markisthis 149 points150 points151 points 1 year ago
"I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan."
[–][deleted] 1722 points1723 points1724 points 1 year ago
See, the thing with that is, hamburger helper is fucking delicious.
[–]jvaughn24 2132 points2133 points2134 points 1 year ago
and it sticks to the ribs
[–]Merytz 1132 points1133 points1134 points 1 year ago
I had a friend who was a tattoo artist. He was in one of those cheap places that get all the people who just want something quick done. He saw a lot of things.
Worst: Girlfriend of 2 months wanted to get matching tattoos with her boyfriend with their faces in little hearts.
Funniest: Guy lost a bet with some friends, had to get Fluttershy (My little Pony) tattoo'ed on his inner thigh.
All he could really do was laugh and feel sorry for the person, but be happy that his parlor was getting business.
[–][deleted] 1459 points1460 points1461 points 1 year ago
Yes, the Fluttershy was a bet, let's go with that.
[–]Winged_Eris 1171 points1172 points1173 points 1 year ago*
I know this guy that got a tattoo of a unicorn on his ass cheek that says 'Nigel' under it. Apparently Nigel was his high school English teacher or something. That's the only explanation I ever got.
EDIT: Totally forgot there was actually 'sir' before 'Nigel.' Sir Nigel. Sir Nigel the unicorn of the ass cheek.
[–]daysofsodom 722 points723 points724 points 1 year ago*
As someone named nigel I could have gone my entire life not knowing this.
[–]perfectnumber628 924 points925 points926 points 1 year ago
As a unicorn, I could have gone my entire life without knowing this.
[–]shoopdedoop 1164 points1165 points1166 points 1 year ago*
I designed a tattoo - a dolphin jumping through the hoop of a flaming Ankh. I still cringe when I think about it.
Edit/update: Ok, so I couldn't find the original design (my design computer is in the shop,) but I did find this on the tattooed's myspace. (fyi: my design almost looked awesome despite the concept - but this tattoo is just bad and the picture is blurry to boot. I'll keep looking) The Tattoo
[–]Testicle_Festival[S] 377 points378 points379 points 1 year ago
Please can we see this?
[–]shoopdedoop 363 points364 points365 points 1 year ago
I'll see if I can find it.
[–]pcreese 280 points281 points282 points 1 year ago
I have donated an encouragement upvote to the cause. Accompanied with my little orange "new comment" envelope of perseverance, I believe we can find this picture, together.
[–]shupdedup 539 points540 points541 points 1 year ago
Hello, brother. We finally meet.
[–]Doonsauce 638 points639 points640 points 1 year ago
I've got a friend/coworker that has the fruit stripe gum zebra dancing to a boombox on his leg and a t rex playing a keytar on his arm.
[–]passwordishemingwayS 1116 points1117 points1118 points 1 year ago
fruit stripe gum zebra
Was he sick of the tattoo after 20 seconds?
[–]sgates92 343 points344 points345 points 1 year ago
That's not horrible, that's awesome.
[–]trshtehdsh 344 points345 points346 points 1 year ago
I know a few artists, if it's fundamentally stupid they will very easily say no; it's their name and reputation on the line, afterall; but if it's just a fairly poor idea, nothing too hideous, they'd probably do it.
For example: A list of the Green Bay Packers super bowl wins. In a circle. So, like, if they won again, there would not be room to add the additional title. They turned that one down, or at least made a more feasible idea out of it.
[–]HelpMeDoctor 1795 points1796 points1797 points 1 year ago
No never, if a tattoo ever comes my way and it is just unbelievably terrible, I WILL work with the person to change it to make it fit/ be acceptable/ look nice. and if its just too stupid, I will pass it to another artist in the shop that does tattoos similar to what the person has. the only time you will see those "worst tatoos ever" is from terrible walk in shops in shitty towns with artists who faked their portfolios and drink/do drugs in the shop. those are the ones you want to stay away from.
if the shop doesn't have their blood born pathogens certificate displayed stay away. if the people in the shop seem sketchy to you, stay away, if they smoke weed in/around the shop, stay away. AND if they tattoo people under 18 STAY THE FUCK AWAY
[–][deleted] 1217 points1218 points1219 points 1 year ago
Yeah, I'm planning on getting tattooed this year and I'm already asking for references from my friends -- asking if they were clean, certified, if the artists are talented, etc. One girl told me I was being too paranoid. I wanted to tell her to fuck off because I was just doing due diligence.
[–]all_the_sex 1152 points1153 points1154 points 1 year ago
If you're gonna incorporate something into your body for the rest of your life, I don't think you would be able to be too paranoid.
[–]NegativeK 719 points720 points721 points 1 year ago
If you're going to be stabbed millions of times over the course of hours, I don't think you would be able to be too paranoid.
[–]crod242 1619 points1620 points1621 points 1 year ago
You should always plan carefully if you intend to visit Detroit.
[–]Neltech 525 points526 points527 points 1 year ago
My buddy was talking about a tattoo that he wanted. While in a session with my tattoo guy I asked him if he'd do it. I said my friend wanted "a Yoohoo! logo tattooed on his taint". My tattoo guy said "fuck no"
[–]ProlapsedPineal 789 points790 points791 points 1 year ago*
I'm sorry to say, but yes.
It was around 1991. Tattooing in my state was still underground and some friends had made an arrangement with me. They would raise the funds to get me the equipment if I would give them free tattoos while I learned. Fine, we're punks, I was 18, it seems right. I'd already been selling my artwork and making illustrations for them to go to other states to get done. We were being industrious.
After developing something of a reputation in our circles of weirdos, hippies, skinheads, bikers, and discordians I started to get clients pretty regularly.
A new person comes by the house. Big outlaw biker guy. The stereotypical image. 6'3, leather vest, tattoos, engineer boots. I want to talk to him and understand what he wants, and why, try and make him something personal.
He lets me know that his 8 year old daughter wants a pony for her birthday more than anything, so he wanted to get a my little pony tattooed on his forearm. Not a small one either, a good 5 inches long. He even brought the picture.
Pink and blue with a star on the side and rainbow and his daughters name on a rocker.
I needed the money but I talked to him about it. Hey, I know a place where you could take your daughter and for the same money she could actually ride on a pony all day. Nope, he wasn't having it. He wanted a my little pony right along with the skulls, and the rest of his tats.
I drew it out, got approval, transferred it on and got to work.
I think my thought process was "this is stupid, but I need to do it well or this scary man will kill me.".
It turned out well, or as well as a my little pony on an Outlaw can be, he was satisfied, and I bought pizza and beer.
Word got around and the next week I was doing my first ever entire back piece. Another biker wanted a giant clown's face across his entire back. I had some artistic liberty with that and over a couple of days in between drinks and boxing and other shenanigans it was done. He biked all over cape cod with his shirt off happy as a clam. That made up for his friend and my pony of shame.
Edit: I part two-ed
[–]thommyhobbes 807 points808 points809 points 1 year ago
That guy didn't have a daughter. He had an excuse.
[–]ProlapsedPineal 266 points267 points268 points 1 year ago
and 20 years later it all makes sense!
[–]Antarioo 69 points70 points71 points 1 year ago
hipster brony?
got it tattooed before it was cool
[–]tastycat 58 points59 points60 points 1 year ago
My first thought was that he didn't have access to his daughter somehow and wanted to remember her birthday.
[–]PirateBatman 53 points54 points55 points 1 year ago
When I read your comment I instantly made up an entire back story about an outlaw biker with a heart of gold who wants nothing more than to be there for his little girl's birthday party. So sad and stuff
[–]Syn7axError 58 points59 points60 points 1 year ago
The most badass bikers are the ones that aren't ashamed to do things like that. Making yourself constantly look hardcore just makes you look stupid. I would give those guys a high-five any day.
[–]ProlapsedPineal 340 points341 points342 points 1 year ago*
Oh.
How could I forget.
When I got the kit I had no idea what to do. There were no mentors, there was no internet, and tattoo magazine was about pictures, not technique.
The dumbest fucking tattoo I've ever done is on myself.
I wasn't going to work on another person going in blind. I had no tattoos, I had no idea what it was like, how to hold the gun, how far the needles should be out, I was going in blind.
So I did what any artist should do when experimenting with a new medium. I doodled. I put on some Henrietta Collins and the Wifebeating Childhaters and got to digging around in my leg.
It's the ugliest fucking tattoo you'll ever see. It isn't of anything at all. I was just doodling, trying out angles to see what made better lines, experimenting with filling in solids and trying to make my lines clean. It's the size of my hand all the way open on the top of my left thigh. All black too because I didn't want to waste the other inks (I had way more black than anything else).
Sigh, I can't wear banana hammocks any more, just Jams.
Edit. That was surreal. I just did a GIS for jams shorts 80s so people would know what the heck Jams were and there, a few rows down was Sir Henrietta Rollins sporting some spiffy shorts in the middle of all the ugly fucking 80s shorts.
Eris is still on the job. The apple is for the prettiest still.
[–]PrettyBox 388 points389 points390 points 1 year ago
We need a picture of this, you realize that right?
[–]Saul_Good 1548 points1549 points1550 points 1 year ago*
I really hope this doesn't get lost in all the comments, because it's a winner. I'm not a tattoo artist, but a friend of mine lost a poker game and as a result had to get a tattoo of a unicorn with a dick in place of the horn, ejaculating rainbows out of its mouth. I will find a picture and update.
PIC: http://imgur.com/L41ol
Edit: Added pic.
[–]Shrim 167 points168 points169 points 1 year ago
Well they certainly did a good job of it.
[–]Daemon_of_Mail 279 points280 points281 points 1 year ago
Never understood why someone would agree to a bet/gamble in which losing means having something stupid stuck to your skin for the rest of your life.
[–]eatmylabia 298 points299 points300 points 1 year ago
Not me because I'm not a tattoo artist, but this is a story my artist told me:
This big white bald guy walked into the shop, and he asked Bill (my artist) if he could get a big huge chest tattoo of "WHITE BROTHERHOOD" to which Bill said "why don't you just say what you want to say? I'll tattoo 'I hate Jigaboos' across your chest for free so that its a more accurate description of what you want" The big white dude mumbled something, and walked out the door. Bill is a boss
[–]max9221 842 points843 points844 points 1 year ago
My sister got a tattoo of a swallow on her shoulder (the classic naval swallow) and her husbands name under the swallows feet (he is in the navy). I told her that if they ever got divorced she could get his name covered up with a coconut.
[–]KarmaRepellant 289 points290 points291 points 1 year ago
I'll just leave this here...
[–]ImThatNotDrunk 436 points437 points438 points 1 year ago
My drunk friend on his 21st b-day wanted a Pterodactyl on his ass. The tattoo artist Googled the wrong image and he got this on his ass.
[–]TaylorPink 291 points292 points293 points 1 year ago
Even better.
[–]NYGyaru 46 points47 points48 points 1 year ago
I'm not a tattoo artist, but I walked into a parlor one day, and saw a guy getting 2 t-rexes having sex tattooed on the top of his thigh... best part was there was a banner above and below that said, "Oh my god... the dinosaurs are breeding!"
[–]Brosaurus63 320 points321 points322 points 1 year ago*
A Girl in my sister's sorority had two tattoos.
One was of a star on her hand corresponding to where she's from in Michigan
The second was of a little girl holding a balloon..... placed an inch above her VULVA
I can only imagine the faces of the men who pulled her pants down to see that.
Edit: don't know why everyone's getting all anal about me using vagina, but where I'm from we just say vagina as a blanket term for the female genitals. Like when someone says "she had a hairy vag" it doesn't mean you're sticking your dick in a tunnel of fur.
[–]SkinnyHusky 215 points216 points217 points 1 year ago
I actually like the Michigan idea
[–]Helix_van_Boron 31 points32 points33 points 1 year ago
If you ask a Michigander where they're from they will show you on their hand. Every single time.
[–]Infenso 2034 points2035 points2036 points 1 year ago*
Old WoW guildmate of mine, let's call him John, was a tattoo artist.
He told us a story once about how sick and tired he was of kids coming in to get barcodes tattooed on the back of their neck, thinking it would make them cool like Jessica Alba from Dark Angel or like Agent 47 from the Hitman series.
Eventually, after fulfilling presumably quite a few such tattoo requests, he was at his wit's end. As such, he was grateful when the very next commission for a barcode tattoo went to his partner, sparing him the pain of inking yet another set of lines.
Unfortunately for his partner, the young rapscallion who's skin was to be needled disagreed with pricetag associated with the work, proclaiming quite loudly and quite profanely that he was willing to pay no more than $40 for the job.
As this youthful hellion proceeded to create a scene inside John's place of business, John decided he would resolve both the irate would-be customer's anger as well as his own in one fell swoop.
John offered the young man his services, agreeing to perform the work and needle the barcode tattoo for the low price of $40, provided the customer was willing to wait twenty minutes for John to go "get his sketchbook out of his car."
With a monstrous shit-eating grin, John sauntered across the street to the local Wal-mart, and once inside made a beeline for the feminine hygiene aisle. The cashier who checked him out must have raised an eyebrow at a single man purchasing a box of Massengill Vinegar-and-Water Disposable Douche (4 count), but said nothing.
Arriving back at his studio, with the knavish youth waiting rather impatiently, John cut the barcode off the box of douches with a pair of scissors, and proceeded to ink that very same barcode onto the back of our antagonist's neck. The victim was none the wiser.
Sometimes, it's life's little victories that are the most satisfying.
[–]manicpoohbear 398 points399 points400 points 1 year ago*
Can those tattoos actually scan? I've always wondered..
EDIT: TIL that barcode tats are super popular and may or may not scan depending on the different factors. I still thought the Chinese tramp stamp characters were what the "cool" kids get...
[–]johnmarsdenshat 647 points648 points649 points 1 year ago
My friends can, he got the barcode for rich tea biscuits inked on his arm. He fucks with supermarket staff on the self serve checkout all the time.
[–]iwantasnowday 241 points242 points243 points 1 year ago
wouldn't he just be adding more to his bill at the store? Like, oh, look I swiped my arm! $4.99 but I don't have any biscuits... :(
[–]Foxsbiscuits 297 points298 points299 points 1 year ago
:(
[–]aesu 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago*
I'd love to see their faces when what they thought was a packet of rich tea biscuits, stands up and walks away.
[–]LowerKace 200 points201 points202 points 1 year ago
I made a comment about barcodes when i was getting my first tattoo, the only one i ever got in a shop, and the lady next to my artist spun around in her chair and rolled over to her items desk and opens a drawer and pulls out a small blue piece of paper and it has a barcode on it, she says thats the barcode she uses for every barcode tattoo any one ever asks for, the same one over and over again and she tells them its off a frosted flakes cereal box, its really off of a box of tampons.
Side note roudy assholes proclaiming that theyre willing to pay what they consider a considerable amount is often a laughable amount to the artist and only furthers the childish image of that customer.
TL;DR: Bar codes tattoos are usually from tampon boxes and hellions are annoying.
[–]Numb3r_6 88 points89 points90 points 1 year ago
As a Zerg player, I can attest that hellions are in fact, annoying.
[–]acarroll 79 points80 points81 points 1 year ago
I have an acquaintance that has a tattoo of two penguins doing a beer bong on his thigh. Photo
[–]mrdmnd 951 points952 points953 points 1 year ago
Buddy of mine.
Power series for Sin(x) on the left arm.
Power series for Cos(x) on the right arm.
Classy as fuck.
[–]perfectnumber628 435 points436 points437 points 1 year ago
Does he ever use them to prove theorems by (literally) hand-waving?
[–]commandodude1265 342 points343 points344 points 1 year ago
I'm not gonna lie, that is nerdily-awesome.
[–]marmosetohmarmoset 1166 points1167 points1168 points 1 year ago*
My sister is a tattoo artist. She says no band names, no boyfriend/girlfriend names.
edit to add: unless she's really strapped for cash. Then anything goes.
edit again: Yes, I'm sure your idea for a band name tattoo is super awesome. Not like those other dumb band name tattoos.
edit one more time: Damn, it figures my most-upvoted comment ever would be the opinion of my sister. That bitch gets all the attention. (<3)
[–]BrandyonTX 105 points106 points107 points 1 year ago
My best friend has a giant vag with wings on his back.
"But it was free," he says.
[–]darwinfish86 139 points140 points141 points 1 year ago
in college we had to talk a friend out of getting a "badass pink unicorn with muscles" on his bicep.
[–]teh_capn 651 points652 points653 points 1 year ago*
I don't think this really belongs here, but it feels mildly appropriate.
I have been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months. We began dating shortly before Christmas. I went with her to her family's Christmas Eve gathering where I met her 94-year-old grandmother. Within five minutes of meeting granny, we had taken two shots together.
At this point she offers to show me her tattoo. It's a cute little mouse she says. I say sure. *I was not fucking prepared. * She explains that it's a mouse and begins preparing to show me. She starts setting down her shot glass and whiskey bottle while un-tucking her sweater and blouse. Remember, she's 94 years old, so this takes about 30-40 seconds of an awkward silence, where I'm not sure whether to offer to help her undress or look away.
During this time, a handful of family members show up, exclaiming, "Oh grandma, you're showing teh_capn your tattoo!?" Naturally, I start getting excited: I've been accepted into my girlfriend's family!
So granny lifts her blouse a few inches with her left hand and lowers her pants about a foot with her right, fully exposing her nether regions. Sh tells me in the sweetest old-lady voice you can imagine, "It's really small so you have to look closely." I look closer. "No sonny, closer than that."
At this point I'm about 3-4 inches from ground zero. She asks again "Do you see it, teh_capn?" No, granny. I don't. By now, seemingly the entire family has gathered around. They're encircling me and granny, pants around the ankles and blouse hiked high, waiting for me to be impressed with this apparently microscopic rodent.
Again, in the classic granny voice, (think Betty White) "Oh well my pussy must have eaten it."
TLDR: I got to see the birthplace of my future mother-in-law, thanks to an odd tattoo
[–]madeintaiwan 995 points996 points997 points 1 year ago
Used to work with a guy named Gary. He had his name tattooed on his left hand just below the knuckles, Gary didn't wear his wedding ring!
[–]jrveggies 405 points406 points407 points 1 year ago*
http://imgur.com/eej4h i did this tattoo about 6 months ago on a female above her vagina.
her female was a typo. my bad...
[–]DorkPassenger 100 points101 points102 points 1 year ago
Is that kind of a 'you must be this long to ride' indicator?
Because if it is, her standards are kinda low.
[–]DemeaningSarcasm 177 points178 points179 points 1 year ago
We knew a guy in highschool with the last name of gaylord.
No, that's not the joke.
Anyway, so this kid sees another guy with the Irish flag tattooed on his arm. So gaylord goes, "Why?" The other guy goes, "Well you know, Irish pride?"
So gaylord goes on his merry way and gets a tattoo of the irish flag. Shows his dad. Dad asks, "Uhh, why did you do that?" Gaylord goes, "You know dad, like Irish pride?"
Gaylord's dad goes, "OUR LAST NAME IS GAYLORD. WE ARE ENGLISH."
[–][deleted] 1383 points1384 points1385 points 1 year ago*
I got a tattoo of a dolphin saying "wassup?" on my ankle. I wish the tattoo artist had stopped me.
edit: yes, this is from clone high. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLpe2qHC1Qw
[–]Centaurea 570 points571 points572 points 1 year ago
Clone High Reference? ARE YOU JOAN OF ARC?!
[–]Muqaddimah 46 points47 points48 points 1 year ago*
They found me face up in the gutter, wide awake!
[–][deleted] 66 points67 points68 points 1 year ago
IAMA request: Mr Cool Ice's tattoo artist
[–]Sandbox_bound 143 points144 points145 points 1 year ago
Not a tat artist, however I was in a bar in philly that is "hip" to the hipster scene. Some girl was bending over the railing talking to a table of people....her shirt slides up just enough for me to see the stamp on her lower back which said, "Fart".
[–]natronmooretron 2060 points2061 points2062 points 1 year ago
I saw a homeless train kid that had a tattoo around is mouth that looked like a goatee. I saw it a little closer and it was letters that spelled "Daddy's little fuck hole."
[–]TOAST2218 1546 points1547 points1548 points 1 year ago
... ... um ...
[–]Otheradam66 1693 points1694 points1695 points 1 year ago
Had to check and make sure this wasn't "WorstAnswerPossible"
[–]CharlesDeGaulle 669 points670 points671 points 1 year ago
This porn star has one in a very interesting place that says "Jarrod's little fuck doll" Very NSFW
[–]shoegarbagebiology 739 points740 points741 points 1 year ago
I can't even immagine the pain of that tattoo
[–]CharlesDeGaulle 861 points862 points863 points 1 year ago
Or pooping afterwards
[–]VonBrewskie 322 points323 points324 points 1 year ago
Whelp, that answers my follow up question....
[–]XtortionBear 582 points583 points584 points 1 year ago
Can you imagine being a tattoo artist doing a tattoo around someone's asshole? Attractive or not, that's got to be one of the most uncomfortable things to do/have done.
[–]neuroghost 706 points707 points708 points 1 year ago
"Relax, it's just a little prick."
[–]zoomshoes 244 points245 points246 points 1 year ago
Oh my god, that's my name. Fuck.
[–]chopp3r 824 points825 points826 points 1 year ago
Who would name their kid "Fuck Doll?"
[–]Iwokeupwithoutapillo 166 points167 points168 points 1 year ago
How's it feel to have a fuck hole all to yourself?
[–]kcsquared 447 points448 points449 points 1 year ago
My buddy does tattoos and he had always wanted to put his rendition of "the shocker" on someone. A few years ago he found a taker. Supposedly, the owner of this piece is actually quite the ladies man.
[–]lunchbawx 148 points149 points150 points 1 year ago
Excellent detail of the wet end of the tampon unfolding.
[–]teamlazerhawk 164 points165 points166 points 1 year ago
Tomorrow my friend is getting and I quote "Albert Einstein riding a bicycle in front of the clock tower that inspired his theory of relativity on [his] ribs" end quote... I don't know whether to congratulate or try to talk him out of it.
[–]invertedcheese85 227 points228 points229 points 1 year ago
This wasn't mine, but my tattoo artist told me the story of a guy (typical guido-bro) who came in with his other bro, asking to get a tattoo of his bro's name on his ass. Apparently, these two guys had a bet with each other during a trip to Atlantic City, and he bet his that he could sleep with 7 "bitches" during the trip. Whoever lost the bet had to get a tattoo of the other's name on their ass. He only slept with six :(
[–]EmoFaggot 396 points397 points398 points 1 year ago
He only slept with six :(
What a different world that is to ours.
[–]ieatbagels 59 points60 points61 points 1 year ago
It's a shame I'm so late, this is a gem in my opinion.
So this kid I went to high school with bought a tattoo kit and is learning to do tattoos. Whatever, plenty of people do that. This kid practices on himself. Okay, that's not too bad. He posts them on facebook and this is my favourite of his. It says "me + B". Of course, this is on facebook, so his family is freaking out, like "you never tattoo a girl's name on your body!!" and he goes "relax, it's not a girl lololol, b stands for beer, beer is my only girlfriend and love."
[–]lurkadurk 224 points225 points226 points 1 year ago
My cousin is pretty good at drawing, so in high school people would ask him to draw them tattoos for the tattoo artist to copy. This black kid comes to him and says "I want a cross, with like flames or something coming up around it." My cousin drew it for him not thinking about it. The kid ended up getting the tattoo and shows up to school with it on his arm, and is showing people, and some kid is like "Dude, you have a burning cross tattooed on your arm."
[–]Babaloo2 161 points162 points163 points 1 year ago
My friend from highschool. Do I win?
[–]kimmy624 105 points106 points107 points 1 year ago
I recently got my tat redone. I asked the artist/owner what the weirdest tat he ever did was. He said a bird, flying, with a huge penis. He kept a photo for when people asked.
He said the most painful is the head of the penis.
[–]The_Flabbergaster 2451 points2452 points2453 points 1 year ago*
Not a tattoo artist, but I figure this deserves to be shared:
This kid I knew got the words "your name" tattoo'd (quite largely, from what I hear) on his ass cheeks, so he could go around telling people: "Oh, your name is Alex? I have your name tattooed on my ass!"
He was 16. When his parents found out, he had to have it lasered off, which apparently was a huge pain in the ass (har har).
Interesting side story about that, when he told his girlfriend "I got your name tattooed on my ass!" She started crying because she wasn't ready for that kind of commitment.
He's in rehab now for the cocaine.
...
Edit: No, this was not Steve-O. Believe it or not, people are stupid enough to do this shit without being paid to do it.
[–]mtthpr 427 points428 points429 points 1 year ago
There was a kid in my high school with the exact same thing...only he'd drop his pants and show it to people. At school. Including our vice principle, once. Still don't know how he didn't get in trouble for that one.
[–]earthboundEclectic 476 points477 points478 points 1 year ago
Didn't get in trouble? Either the vice principal was spineless, or the motherfucker had some serious charisma going.
[–][deleted] 457 points458 points459 points 1 year ago
The principal admired the boy's commitment to make a lame joke.
[–]Obi_Kwiet 980 points981 points982 points 1 year ago
Novelty student.
[–]pineapple2048 130 points131 points132 points 1 year ago
He put a lot of points into CHA.
[–]Testicle_Festival[S] 1122 points1123 points1124 points 1 year ago
I went from haha to a episode of intervention.
[–]pill_popper 798 points799 points800 points 1 year ago
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE
[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 546 points547 points548 points 1 year ago
I WISH I HAD A FATHER
[–]Cynepkokc 438 points439 points440 points 1 year ago
I haha'd the whole time.
[–]Mystery_Hours 395 points396 points397 points 1 year ago
Would haha again.
[–]GHNASHER 1300 points1301 points1302 points 1 year ago
the last part got me lol
[–]swearis 811 points812 points813 points 1 year ago
I feel like the last part came out of nowhere, but at the same time it was expected.
[–]Tripudelops 542 points543 points544 points 1 year ago
Nothing screams "cocaine addiction" like ass-tats, amirite?
[–][deleted] 163 points164 points165 points 1 year ago
It's the first sign of a problem. If your friend has ass-tats get them help everyone, it's serious.
[–]Mystery_Hours 324 points325 points326 points 1 year ago
The best part is the wording "for the cocaine", as if the cocaine was something mentioned beforehand.
[–]snowblind 848 points849 points850 points 1 year ago
I was dead set on getting a Captain Murphy from Sealab 2021 tattoo on my ass for the longest time. I'm a girl.
...Never got it
[–]bultaco370pursang 120 points121 points122 points 1 year ago
Get it! It'll piss off those pod sixxers! i hate those jerks in pod six.
[–]jackruby1123 358 points359 points360 points 1 year ago
Do you want the mustache on or off?
[–]SeansterMonster 300 points301 points302 points 1 year ago
TOO BAD!
[–]sklctrnc 883 points884 points885 points 1 year ago
GET IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
[–]topherwolf 527 points528 points529 points 1 year ago
I got a tattoo of my EX-girlfriends name on my left arm. Fuck.
[–]bufanog1104 1038 points1039 points1040 points 1 year ago
This happened to one of my dad's friends. He just went back and had what looked like "VOID" stamped over it.
[–]sgates92 451 points452 points453 points 1 year ago
That's brilliant.
[–]bufanog1104 203 points204 points205 points 1 year ago
Yup. I don't think it was an ex girlfriend though. It was his ex wife.
[–]glandersnuff 106 points107 points108 points 1 year ago
Cross it out with an 'X', and get 'Deep Search' tattooed underneath.
[–]XtortionBear 25 points26 points27 points 1 year ago
A friend (well, more of an acquaintance) of mine from high school works at the local tattoo shop and I was in there about a year and half ago getting a tattoo. He was showing me some of the ones he'd gotten and some were really cool until he got to the dickbird. Apparently, his sister had been doodling one day and had drawn a cartoony bird that looked... well, it looked like a dick. He got it tattooed on his chest.
I don't know why anyone would want that on them. A dickbird. Think about that for a second and let it sink in. Dickbird.
[–]Sageypie 2393 points2394 points2395 points 1 year ago
A friend of mine is/was a tattoo artist, and they had a story about a girl that game in, had just turned 18, was going on spring break and wanted a lower back tattoo to help pick up guys and whatnot. So this young lady decides she wants the words "Cum Dumpster" with an arrow pointing down towards her bum and regions beyond. She said she thought it'd really let the guys know what she wanted, and would be hilarious besides. My friend tried talking her out of it, explaining how this would have this huge impact on her life, the girl went off about how he sounded like her mom. So he ended up doing the tattoo and charging the girl a bit more for it.
Odd epilogue here, the girl came back in a month or so later, saying that she hadn't been able to scrub the tattoo off yet, and wanted to know what scrub or cleanser she needed to clear it up. Apparently her friends told her that you just needed to exfoliate or some shit, just scrub off some skin, and the ink would come right out and that tattoo would be gone.
[–]mig-san 1171 points1172 points1173 points 1 year ago
Wut...? She thought it was temporary then decides it's somehow better to pay several times the cost of a sharpie to write something on her body?
[–]Lt_Shniz 1385 points1386 points1387 points 1 year ago*
She probably thought sharpie was stronger than tattoo. It is a permanent marker after all
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