If everything in your house magically came to life, which item would you be most afraid of?

cornball1111 · 12 months

prostitutes.

hrh0711 · 12 months

My computer. It knows too much.

swimbekoz · 12 months

the toilet. payback rage.

EtherealScorpions · 12 months

Probably my wife's dilldo . Or mine.

Oblivioncontroller · 12 months

My toaster. I'm fairly sure that bastards would come after me first chance it gets. Fuck my toaster.

ClamJuicer · 12 months

My ear plugs.

I have a huge box of them and I could just picture all busting out and burrowing into my ears, nose, and eyes and laying ear plug eggs on my brain.

Then there would be ear plug larva eating my medulla oblongata as I rolled around in a quiet, blind state of delirium all the while trying to pull the mouse out of my ass.

livebait19 · 12 months

My bed. I'm on the bottom bunk. I wouldn't even wake up to see my killer. I would just be a livebait-sandwich.

MistressMary · 12 months

knives

durkem · 12 months

The broom. It will just keep multiplying and multiplying, and then they will all come after you. I learned that from fantasia at a very young age.

The_Painted_Man · 12 months

[deleted]

Daydreamer2010 · 12 months

Iron.

WorgenFlank11 · 12 months

My bed, it would be like a Pedophile..

xanarax · 12 months

I play Warhammer 40,000 and have several hundred miniatures around my house that if they came to life would create pretty much the same thing as a Zerg invasion...

The_Mad_Pencil · 12 months

My socks.

They have good reason to be upset.

Perfect_Booty · 12 months

Deer head.

feistypants · 12 months

The electric hand mixer. I have really long hair and I know that little bastard would come after me and scalp me like a Navajo...

The_Urban_Core · 12 months

The bodies under the stai... errr... Ironing table. I guess.

Kesha_Paul · 12 months

My coffee table, I kick that thing 12 times a day.

MrsNeilPHarris · 12 months

The fireplace. I reckon it would chase me around the house and try to set me on fire.

UnBeatable73 · 12 months

My letter opener. It's a mini katana.

mergersnexecutions · 12 months

My fleshlight.

TheBauhausCure · 12 months

My Portal Turret. Seriously, that thing creeps me out when I forget that I left it on.

saxfag · 12 months

Oh god, all my guns. My only hope is that all the attention i give to cleaning and maintaining them has made us build a family bond.

SkinnyHusky · 12 months

Tampons

kevinstonge · 12 months

the oven

theshellfishgene · 12 months

After seeing the Brave Little Toaster, I would live in constant fear of the air conditioning unit committing suicide

Mike13815 · 12 months

My dead grandmother's ashes.

dogbra · 12 months

All the dead hookers buried under the floorboards.

Hounskull · 12 months

I wouldn't want any rugs or wall hangings wrapping me up and slowly digesting me..

whiskeyandbacon · 12 months

The pooper, because I would be afraid it would be mad at me after all these years of...well. If my couch could talk it would probably ask for more personal space.

beybaska · 12 months

Garbage disposal, that fucker's terrifying enough when it's inanimate...

[deleted] · 12 months

The toilet. I've been shitting on it daily since I moved in. I also vomited directly into it's mouth.

amwdrizz · 12 months

This Miller 250A 220V Dialarc welder... (I live in a garage btw)

OhSweetBalls · 12 months

The stove. Being cooked... yeah.

The_Painted_Man · 12 months

The towel under my bed.

It has seen some things... some things i am not proud of...

equesbelli · 12 months

The power tools in the garage.

Dear god that reminds me of the Tommyknockers. Damned flying drills.

DJ_Silence · 12 months

If I learned anything from The Brave Little Toaster, it would be stay away from everything.

[deleted] · 12 months

Kitty litter box.

Atarashii · 12 months

My Darth Malgus statue. He might be small but he's still a sith lord with a lightsaber.

marywhiskey3 · 12 months

The remains in my cat's litter box

liz-to-the-e-bitches · 12 months

My double ended dildo.

Ipecacophony · 12 months

I have a faded, slumping life sized cut out of Stephen Colbert perpetually smiling at me from the corner of my room. So maybe that.

Do magically animated objects mimic their likenesses?

MirandaRenee1991 · 12 months

This very creepy, ugly ass little clown statue my grandma got my mom. I begged her to not put it up, even in her room, and keep it in the box, hell I even tried to get her to throw it out but keeping it in its box was as far as I could get.

I_Fuck_Flamingos · 12 months

All of my dog's chew toys.

NerdENerd · 12 months

The refrigerator, that scene from Requiem for a Dream really fucked me up.

The_Mad_Pencil · 12 months

I have a katana on my windowsill. I haven't been taking very good care of it, but it's still pretty damn sharp. Fuck.

I'd also be terrified of my air conditioner for damn good reason.

societalspoon · 12 months

the porcelain dolls in my grandmothers room...the looks they give now give me the heebee geebee's.

justwhatyouwanttosay · 12 months

Street lamps, those mother fuckers would crush everyone and everything.

jayvor · 12 months

Likely the chair, considering it's been overused for quite a while now.

But I'm not too scared, I trust my 9" Cole McGrath model to save me.

lamphibian · 12 months

My laptop.

It knows all of my browsing history.

jane_fonda · 12 months

My fellowship of the ring pez collection. I wouldn't be afraid of them in a threatening way, unless I pissed Gimli off or something but those would be freaky looking and I would imagine that all of them would be talking at the same time that would just freak me out.

edit: spelling. I'm an idiot!

manonthemount · 12 months

still my cat

YamiSilaas · 12 months

My computer. It already eats away at my soul, I fear what it could do if it gained sentience.

patrick_j · 12 months

The garbage disposal in the sink. That thing is scary enough as is. Imagine it sprouting little spider legs and chasing you around the house.

ohsnipsnap · 12 months

The action figures. We're a big fan of villains here. Joker, Sephiroth, Predator, Dexter, Red Skull, etc etc.

circusnachos · 12 months

My boyfriend's computer/command center. It would probably awaken as a female, and would claim to be a better girlfriend than me, then kill me and wear my skin like a suit.

iRAPEcharizard · 12 months

My furby

LordWhat · 12 months

my dalek, or the picture of a weeping angel i have on my wall.

Snak_The_Ripper · 12 months

This. I've caused every bit of damage on it. Burned it, stabbed it, cut it, written Latin on it. I mean c'mon! There's a railroad spike and mini pitchfork embedded in it!

the_old_in_out · 12 months

The toilet

cb93 · 12 months

have to be taps...that shit can drown you

[deleted] · 12 months

The stuffed bear in my living room.

Puffwheatpete · 12 months

Dildos

LurkingGrue · 12 months

The fan. What's not to be worried about when an item consists primarily of spinning blades?

Diggleborf · 12 months

My ps3 (because I tried to sell it)

smartzie · 12 months

Scissors. Definitely the scissors.

parkervoice · 12 months

Toilet. Gods, would it frighten.

Vipensan · 12 months

Chainsaw.

[deleted] · 12 months

The fireplace...

thegirlinthetardis · 12 months

Stuffed animals.

rustykogburn · 12 months

Fridge.

0-1-1-2-3-5-8-13-21 · 12 months

Fans.

mochaddiction · 12 months

My coffee maker. I abuse it, every day.

TheStrangeEli · 12 months

Nothing. I think all the shit in my house and I would get along just fine. :)

joannamon · 12 months

My garbage disposal.

Fap_Fapperson · 12 months

a dildo... or my fleshlights

heardulikemudkipz · 12 months

The alligator head, the piranna, my rifle..

madmorning · 12 months

Robo-Queen!

actorgirl · 12 months

The toaster. I can just imagine it getting on a skateboard and following me around the house with a fork in it.

[deleted] · 12 months

Blender.

UptownShenanigans · 12 months

My desk chair. I'm sorry for the YEARS of masturbating while sitting on you

katushka · 12 months

It's a toss-up between the rape stove and the death bed.

billyreno1 · 12 months

My wife

[deleted] · 12 months

My killrag.

superdoobie · 12 months

[deleted] · 12 months

My wives 13 inch black dildo.

psychroclasm · 12 months

Tanning bed or microwave. Effectively the same thing.

Before anyone asks, the tanning bed belongs to my fiance's parents, and we're storing it for them.

TPCTimesThree · 12 months

My wireless router.

I can hear it now, talking in a squeaky little voice. "I know all your secrets..."

cutiepatootieadipose · 12 months

my vibrator.

Decalis · 12 months

The vacuum, hands down. It's terrifying when isn't animate. Motherfucker pulls itself across the floor. I once accidentally drove it over a stray USB cable and ripped the front panel off a computer.

We refer to it as The Beast.

Magikarparparp · 12 months

My mounted moosehead on my TV.

PHALLUS_OF_MALICE · 12 months

I should be more afraid of how many things are in my house, and how many things will be moving around.

LordChef · 12 months

Well, I just recently got a double-barreled shotgun that has been passed down in my family for generations. My great-grandfather gave it to my grandpa, who then gave it to my father who then gave it to my on my 18th birthday. I can't even imagine what that gun would be able to do.

The first time I shot the gun (I was about 10 years old or so), I accidentally pulled both triggers at once and ended up flat on my ass. It was hilarious but at the same time it gave me a great respect for guns. I suppose that if the gun came to life it would know that I respect it but it still has enough power to blow me up without so much as a slight wince.

thebodymullet · 12 months

the piano

edward75 · 12 months

My bed and sheets

Falcario · 12 months

My bike, Scotty. He already has a name, and I get the feeling he's a little pissed off at me (I don't always give him the maintenance he deserves).

mgpo222 · 12 months

My favorite stuffed animal, Penguiny. I'm 22 years old and I'll still ahve a chat with him once in a while... alright a few times a week! I got him when I was 6. Let me just say... He knows too much.

Edit: PLUS! He's next to my bed so the things he's seen..... oh dear god.

IAMA_Ghost_Boo · 12 months

Space heater, or my big American flag.

rainbow-ostrich · 12 months

I have this mobile of eyes...definitely that.

[deleted] · 12 months

Still my mom.

NotThatDoug · 12 months

Computer chair. Years of farting and fapping on it would have driven it insane.

catoronium_majorus · 12 months

My bomb-omb from Mario.

or my bed because its really heavy

Stalhound · 12 months

There's an angel doll-thing of my mothers that would be pretty creepy alive. It doesn't look creepy at all and isn't unrealistic at all. It's rather beautiful, but it's about 2 and a half feet tall, so fuck that.

ironhulk · 12 months

The chainsaw

Imani_5 · 12 months

My Spongebob poster that has over 50 faces of Spongebob right next to my bed... Need I say more?

[deleted] · 12 months

My Adipose stress toy! It looks like this: http://www.neatgeek.com.au/product_images/adipose-stress-toy-box.jpg

B1llah · 12 months

Masquerade mask hanging on my wall, or the big Frankenstein standing in my corner, or the figurine Atier (Assasins Creed guy, can't remember his name) .. All could be bad

_Tuxed0_ · 12 months

Remote control Dalek

Duk822 · 12 months

My towels. I think they would smother me for the things I have done to them.

JoeScotterpuss · 12 months

My pillow. I imagine it's not happy having me wake it up to put head right on top of It for the night like it wasn't even there and it's feelings are insignificant to me. Also turning it over and fluffing.

AyoevilDoer · 12 months

Umm..... the blow-up doll. Am I right?
the shit ive put her through would come back ten fold

Ballsyugly · 12 months

Ty Beanie baby collection D:

carebeartears · 12 months

Gun Collection!

( well, maybe if I was not Canadian..up here we view people, who aren't farmers, who own guns as err, strange )

Valahthiel · 12 months

My mother has this old porcelain doll that is about 3 inches in length. Its pale with a few freckles and stringy orange hair. it has a plaid dress with black dressy shoes. and its eyes stare off to the side. it always gave me this creepy feeling like its aware that im afraid of it. i haven't seen it since i was about 10 years old and i had completely forgotten about it until just last Wednesday (we just recently moved to a new house) my mom was opening some boxes and pulled it out happily. I just locked eyes with that doll and felt me heart drop. I told my mom to put it away. I very badly want to kill it with fire but i have that feeling that if i did id just walk back into my house and see it sitting on my bed... waiting.

Natanime · 12 months

The toaster, but only if it teams up with the bathtub. And how about them pillows?

into_darkness · 12 months

The Necronomicon.

thinker3 · 12 months

The spiders. So many...

sexyunicorn · 12 months

Mu moderm, so much fire

gregorious13 · 12 months

80 inch tv. I never move from in front of it, and that thing would fucking smash me.

Dascandy · 12 months

Close call between the old monitor I have (10kV transformer), the 20lbs sledgehammer, the fence trimmer, the regular power tools and the "big furniture".

So I'm going to say the microwave.

hacksawjane · 12 months

My mom's collection of stuffed frogs, frog figurines, out door statues, stickers and pictures.

shudder

knocklessmonster · 12 months

The ceiling fan. I had a recurring nightmare when I was 4 of the ceiling fan coming off of the ceiling, chasing me, and chopping me to bits. If it could think, I would be scared to death of it unless I discovered its name was Jose and it only wanted to be a tap dancer.

[deleted] · 12 months

The rocking horse. It's eyes looked so glazed, almost like it's in pain.

poryphria · 12 months

THE IRON.

Paullysongsmith · 12 months

We collect duck figurines, so duck crap all over the rugs

fruitpanties · 12 months

The furnace or the vacuum

Capatown · 12 months

My PC monitor, the things it has displayed for me. Oh lawd!

Themingemac · 12 months

My keyboard, I've smashed it so many times and- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

MoonieXT · 12 months

My Domo plushie, looks so adorable, but I'd still be scared of it.

maamby · 12 months

My underwear.

Imthecityexplorer · 12 months

My fencing kit. Technically empty, but full of the rage of every bout lost.

Kewburr · 12 months

The dead spiders in my window :/ im too afraid to sweep away their bodies :/

Emmaleep · 12 months

My ventriloquist doll. My dad gave it to me years ago.

sunbud11 · 12 months

Definitely my beyblades!

mad87645 · 12 months

Toasters.

Don't act like you wouldn't be hiding from your toaster too....

[deleted] · 12 months

Cumbox

Mikey-2-Guns · 12 months

My shotgun, actually as long as it doesn't sprout legs I should be fine.

penguelec · 12 months

My speakers

BostonRed32 · 12 months

The vibrator would be the "'Nam vet" of the bunch...

tenduril · 12 months

My DVD copy of Night at the Museum. I'd be worried about some sort of recursing thing happening there.

beamore · 12 months

Garbage disposal. I can't see that ending well.

yogibowd · 12 months

You don't realize how many weird things you have in your house until you hear this question...my dad has a 4 ft statue of a man in armor in the attic...either that or the cardboard George bush we bought to piss off my dad

IgotaBionicArm · 12 months

I'd have a pissed off legion of washclothes after me.

I can say that much.

msbrooklyn · 12 months

hopefully ive been nice enough to all of my possessions that they will be quite friendly and i wont have to fight any of them off.

i just hope ive never pissed off my katana or pepper spray...

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