Thank you for taking a moment to read my situation and possibly give me your input.
In less than a month, I'll be marrying the woman of my dreams. We were both raised Catholic, but I only stuck with it until the beginning of high school. I went through a phase of soul search, and church searching, concluding that I do not believe in any possibility of a God as depicted by The Bible or any other religious writing I've ever been exposed to.
She, on the other hand, loves her Catholic faith and has been with Catholic schools for the past 17 years (1st grade through grad school). We've had many discussions about religion, and I respect her beliefs because I see them simply as hope. Whether or not she really thinks there's a magic man in the sky or not is irrelevant. She's comforted by the hope that there is more to our existence than this physical realm. She's more full of love than anyone I know. If it requires that she believe in God to be so full of love, so be it.
Our conversations are often quite productive as she explains to me her feelings about the teachings of the Church as compared to the sometimes distorted messages that occur in the world. She is a very smart and scientific woman, so she understands that my requirements for logic and proof will keep me from having faith, so she doesn't try to convert me.
I could go on about our dynamics for days, but I'll skip to the part where I need advice.
We're getting married in the Catholic church, and even though I was baptized, I was never confirmed, so they view us as a mixed marriage. She had to promise to raise our kids Catholic, and I was made aware of that promise. We've done the NFP classes, which I enjoyed because they gave us a way to plan our family without the need for artificial hormones that have potential side effects. We did the pre-cana classes, and other than the 'rely on god' stuff, it was a good time with lots of useful information.
I'm fine with her taking the kids to Mass every Sunday, and will support her in doing so because of how much it means to her. I understand that the majority of the teachings of the Church are based in things I agree with; ie. Love your neighbor, be selfless, golden rule kinda stuff. I feel that with that as a foundation, we can continue those conversations at home helping our kids understand that its important to be good. If, after the kids are out of grade school, they choose not to go to Church anymore, or decide they want to try out different churches, I'll be fine with it. I'm only going to insist they go to mass with their mom until they get into high school.
I'm fine with the kids going to Catholic school; pending that its the best affordable school in the area. Generally speaking, private Catholic schools are going to provide some of the best education in the US. But again, if upon time for high school, they can justify going to a different school, for academic reasons, I won't be supportive of them going to Catholic school just because its Catholic. This is what happened with me; I had the choice to go to the Catholic high school which had a terrible music program and no computer program to speak of, and those were what I was interested in and what was exceptional about the local public school.
I'm not going to let the kids get away with not going to Mass because they want to sleep in, or go to a public school because they think it'd be more fun, but I'm not going to push them to stick with Catholicism if they don't want to.
What I will not do is tell my kids that I believe in God. I would feel horrible about working to instill the value of honesty in my kids by lying to them.
How can I support my wife in teaching our future kids about the Catholic faith if I don't have faith? What can I say if my kids ask why I don't go to Mass? If they know I don't believe in God, is there any chance they still might?
TL;DR: My soon-to-be wife is an awesome Catholic, I'm an awesome atheist. I'm cool with raising kids Catholic until they're old enough to decide for themselves, but need help figuring out how.