top 200 commentsshow all 325

[–]Furiousmoe 180 points181 points ago

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I have a really hard time listening to what people are saying to me as well.. My mind wanders off in the middle of conversations, I have to force myself to focus on what they're saying. A lot of times I start really focusing on the fact that I have to focus and completely shut out what the person is saying to me. It sucks.

I keep meaning to go see a mental health physician about my concentration issues, but I keep putting it off.

[–]Scottamus 111 points112 points ago

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I hate when someone introduces themselves while I'm looking right at them and I realize I have no idea what they just said their name was.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 61 points62 points ago

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Me. All day. If no one else says your name, I call you nothing.

[–]Teh_Ent 31 points32 points ago

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Its the worst when they tell you their name but you dont use it and then forget it and never use it again...

[–]m1k3L777[S] 25 points26 points ago

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Then you see them later, and they remember your name but you're all, "Hey...guy...how's it going?"

[–]Teh_Ent 25 points26 points ago

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I go for the Never use the name EVER no matter WHAT

I have this friend and they have a hard name to pronounce correctly so In the 10 + years I have know them I don't think i have ONCE used their name, Im not sure if i should sound like an American hick and and say it like its a white person name or to be so stuck up and put the foreign accent on it... fuck my stupid trolling ass brain

[–]m1k3L777[S] 15 points16 points ago

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Every time my brother brings up anyone we went to school with, I say "Who the fuck is Jeff?" then he describes them, and I think, "Wow. I thought his name was Seth. He's an asshole anyway."

[–]Teh_Ent 13 points14 points ago

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(ノಭ_ಭ)ノ Why are we so weird!

[–]m1k3L777[S] 14 points15 points ago

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We're normal. Everyone else is weird.

[–]reddell 3 points4 points ago

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I've learned that its better to just apologize and ask again. If you wait past then it just gets tooawkward to do anything about. Its hard, but you have to just suck it up and ask again.

[–]CozmoNz 2 points3 points ago

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Works in Nz... "Hey bro, what's new" Works in Aus... "Mateeee! See that fuckin girlie?! I'd put a few up her!"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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"Hey... buckaroo...!"

[–]dubbya 3 points4 points ago*

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I've worked with a couple of new people for months now and they're both still "buddy"

Edit:Left out a letter and it was driving me nuts

[–]m1k3L777[S] 2 points3 points ago

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"What's happening, chief?" Is my go-to at work.

[–]ImClearlyAmazing 6 points7 points ago

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One thing that has helped me with this problem is to consciously connect their name when they tell it to you with some unique, identifying feature and for me, it's usually the first thing I notice about them. "Jeff - has a big nose", "Katy - has a freckle at the tip of her nose" etc. By making that connection, I think it solidifies the name in your mind more and when you see that distinguishing characteristic, bam, you remember their names.

[–]Scottamus 4 points5 points ago

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It's more like by the time I realize they are telling me their name the sound is long gone so I have to ask again.

[–]ImClearlyAmazing 1 point2 points ago

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That's another good method to remember someones name though, even if you hear it, ask them to repeat it, then you repeat it. If you can't tell, I used to be (and still am occasionally) terrible about remembering names but those memory devices have helped me loads.

[–]CMEast 1 point2 points ago

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I'm the same. I've found that using these tricks I can remember every name and I can normally remember the order people were sitting in and the order in which I was introduced to them. Fixing that moment/information in my head at the time makes a real difference when it comes to recalling it later.

[–]agent-99 1 point2 points ago

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when new clients ring my phone, i ask when i'm writing them in my appointment book "how do you spell your name" as if i may have heard them, then they will spell it and i will know wtf they said, and then write it.

[–]esculent 1 point2 points ago

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I just started listening intently to their name, repeating it back to them and then saying, "I'm terrible with names, so I may be asking again later. Please don't be offended, I have to do this with almost everyone." About 75% of the time they admit that they have the same problem and we laugh about it and the ice is broken, so to speak.

[–]crazykiwi 22 points23 points ago

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I wouldn't jump to any conclusions Furiousmoe but what your describing sounds a bit like an auditory processing disorder. This is what I have and I feel exactly what you are saying. I am too busy processing the past speech to keep up with the flow. Sometimes I say what??? then realize I actually heard and was just processing... then I answer before the person clarifies. It really confuses people. I have learned to wait a moment before saying "what" even if I think I couldn't hear. Problems like this are complex and I think an official diagnosis would need to be done to find the source of the problem. It is best not to assume.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LnDHaze 4 points5 points ago

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I do this exactly! I have tried to wait before I say 'what?' but I never really remember. Maybe I will have to look into this.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I don't mean to pry, but how does your disorder work, physiologically speaking? This piqued my interest.

[–]crazykiwi 1 point2 points ago

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If you Google around a little you should be able to find lots on it. I'm certainly no expert and would sound a little dim trying to explain it. I was diagnosed in school by... I assume a psychologist. I hear the words when people are talking to me but there is a much longer lag for me when it comes to understanding the content of the sounds. I easily tune out and just hear droning sometimes and some and often most of the meaning comes out a few moments later. Sometimes I have to run the sound of the persons voice over a couple of times like a tape recorder to try to decode it. The other thing I often do is repeat out loud what someone just said to me. It drives my wife crazy because I do it all the time. I also find it very hard to understand people when I am not looking at their lips. I am guessing that I take clues from them like basic lip reading even though I hear at full volume. Also, I often prefer to talk to people one on one in a quiet environment to reduce competing noise. Funny enough I know more about Cortical visual Impairment (CVI) for the people I work with than I do about my own disorder. I often wonder if there are parallels. With CVI you see things but you have a hard time understanding what you are seeing. Some people need to have objects isolated or put on a black background to see them. In the early stages of resolution the individual may even need objects to be all one color. It's really interesting.

[–]Gordon2108 3 points4 points ago

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I can't tell if I may have this or I'm just imagining having things again. All I know is this sounds like me. I say what, then answer them because I got what they were saying right after. Conversation is difficult because I'm stuck processing while other people keep going.

Do you have problems understanding lyrics in music? Starting to wonder if this might be why I seem to be the only person completely incapable of understanding what the hell is being said in a song unless it's REALLY clear.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I can't understand lyrics at all. There are songs by my favorite band I've heard dozens of times and I have no clue what they are saying. Even in my own band, when I helped write the lyrics, if I don't look at the singer's mouth, I have no idea what he's saying.

[–]crazykiwi 1 point2 points ago

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Sure, it is very difficult to hear them, but this might be normal depending on the speed of the music or the number of layers of sound. I am pretty sure I am much worse than other people at hearing lyrics. Yet I am still a music fanatic and collector... I guess just for the sensory experience of it. I tend to think of a voice being more like an instrument when I listen to music then worrying about the meaning of the words because they are so hard to catch.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Fascinating. Do you feel like you've gotten better as time goes? Now that I think, it does seem like when I've done the things you mention, that definitely makes understanding people talk a lot easier. It almost seems common sense now, though. Thanks for helping me understand that. I can vaguely recall reading about what I now assume is CVI, just didn't know the name, and it is very interesting. Is it usually associated with injury, or is it from birth?

[–]m1k3L777[S] 34 points35 points ago

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" A lot of times I start really focusing on the fact that I have to focus and completely shut out what the person is saying to me." Sounds about right, sometimes.

[–]jeckles 4 points5 points ago

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Heh, I even didn't notice that you were quoting Furiousmoe at first

[–]m1k3L777[S] 8 points9 points ago

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TIL how to do this:

I am quoting someone. Derp.

Everyone's a noob once, right? (btw I'm the noob in this case, I knew quotes were the wrong, but didn't know what else to do.)

[–]jeckles 10 points11 points ago

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No worries! I was thinking it was just funny because we're talking about not being able to follow a conversation, and then I obviously forgot what I'd just read.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 13 points14 points ago

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I guess we had a...failure in communication. Oh, man, I crack me up.

[–]eatfesh 4 points5 points ago

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YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

[–]saltydogshrimp1 20 points21 points ago

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Sounds like anxiety coupled with a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm sure there are conditions in which something is actually wrong with the brain and it cannot process information, but I'm more inclined to say that it's just anxiety due to a lack of practice for most people. Communication, like every skill, requires practice, and it's a lot easier these days to not interact with people on a daily basis, so their communication skills end up sucking. I'm just thinking out loud though...

[–]dandollar 1 point2 points ago

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i agree that the most obvious first guess would be anxiety - do you have the same kinds of problems talking with people you are comfortable with? like your parents, siblings, for instance?

[–]Mudphudder 10 points11 points ago

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I have ADHD, and was diagnosed at 22 years old. The drifting off in the middle of conversations, even when people are talking directly at me is one of the things that finally convinced me to go talk to a psychiatrist about it. Even if I knew that I was interested in what they were saying, my mind would still find a way to latch on to something they said and run with it. And I delayed going to a psychiatrist for months, the same exact way.

[–]jesschester 1 point2 points ago

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So when you finally went to the psychiatrist, what happened? You got diagnosed obviously, but how? and what was their solution for you?

I'm interested because I am 22 and what you described sounds very similar to my situation.

[–]Mudphudder 4 points5 points ago

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There's no one "set" way to diagnose ADHD... As with all psychiatric disorders, it's a pretty fuzzy definition; there's no blood test you can do to determine if you have it, and each psychiatrist has their own methods. I've heard stories of people having to take cognitive function tests, where they're sat in front of a computer, and told to do repetitive tasks, and it measures how long it takes them to get bored and start messing up... Although I think that's more for use in children, who aren't able to readily talk about their experiences.

I had already been seeing a therapist, and she gave me a recommendation to a psychiatrist. Basically, I met with the psychiatrist, and outlined my symptoms. I told her straight out "I've done some research, and I'm concerned that I may have ADHD: here's why I think this." and then I just outlined my symptoms. I talked about finding it incredibly difficult to pay attention in class, drifting off in the middle of conversations, classmates calling me a "space case" when working on group projects, taking hours and hours to read a single chapter of a difficult textbook, starting a zillion tv shows and video games then getting halfway through them and quitting, never being able to sit still long enough to focus on a 20-minute show without multi-tasking, etc. We also talked a lot about my childhood. All in all, we talked for probably 1-2 hours. She had me fill out a brief questionnaire, but she even admitted to me that she doesn't really take it into account.

At the end of our talk, she told me that from the symptoms I described, it sounded like I had mild-to-moderate ADHD, and she proposed that I start on a mild dose of Adderall. She had me get an EKG first, because Adderall can really exacerbate heart arrythmias, but my EKG was fine, and 2 weeks later I saw her again and got the prescription. I've been on it for maybe 2 months now, and it definitely helps! I've seen a dramatic improvement! Especially in class, I can take it an hour before class, and I'll actually be able to sit and take notes, instead of compulsively daydreaming, checking my phone, or surfing reddit... There's a few downsides, I sometimes get heart palpitations when it wears off (which is fairly normal), and if I take it too late in the day sometimes I won't be able to fall asleep. Also, it increases libido for me....which can be viewed as both a good thing or a bad thing. I've also taken some breaks from it, and during breaks I feel really fatigued, and sometimes even a little bit depressed, but it doesn't last longer than a day or two. I'd say overall it's a definite improvement, and I'm willing to weather the side effects for the benefit that I get out of it, because it definitely does help me a lot.

[–]otakuman 5 points6 points ago

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Sometimes arrive to the logical conclusion of what the other person is saying, and sometime in the middle of the conversation I find out that they were trying to tell me something completely different. This usually happens when talking to a woman - especially my sister.

Sometimes I want to yell out "get to the fucking point!".

Sigh.

[–]eulerup 1 point2 points ago

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I was like this too. And then in college I befriended a communications major who remembered every damn word that came out of my mouth. She'd at random mention minor details that came up in conversation like 2 weeks ago. (Which was hella information. I swear there were weeks I spent more time at her place than my own.) Practice makes perfect and it's really nice to get to know people better now.

[–]Miss_Bee 94 points95 points ago

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I'm very bad at explaining things and describing them to people.

[–]Tidus4eva 33 points34 points ago

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Im the same in this regard. I know exactly how things work, but explaining it to people is like I'm speaking Korean or something

Sometimes I wonder I'd it's me or if it's them

[–]matty2fresh 12 points13 points ago

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I find myself getting right into a topic without introducing it into the conversation, out of left field type shit.

[–]ineedateam1 4 points5 points ago

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yes this...so frusrating

[–]molkhal 4 points5 points ago

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I like ice cream.

[–]Lafferti 1 point2 points ago

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I'd like to think its everyone else's problem...

[–]Cathunamapa 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah but most of the time I sort of expect people to know stuff, but it usually goes over their heads.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 16 points17 points ago

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I feel like an asshole for asking you to clarify, but do you mean more like physical descriptions or what you were feeling, or something else? I'm really bad with describing emotions.

[–]Miss_Bee 9 points10 points ago

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Physical things,books and movies, mostly.

[–]kiwipineapple 29 points30 points ago

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I'm like this too! I'll be reading or whatever and somebody comes along. Here's the conversation:

"Oh, hey, what are you reading?" "Derpity blerp by Herp. It's really good." "Oh, really? What's it about?" "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh well it's like...y'know with the...and the...books..." "Okay...sounds cool. See you later."

:| and then i do this

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LnDHaze 4 points5 points ago

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I always knew I was bad at storytelling myself. I learned recently that when I tell stories I climax way to early (haha.. -.-). so the end of the story no longer makes sense.

[–]Jnette 1 point2 points ago

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THIS. All the...time.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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You have trouble describing the plot?

[–]caehtruly 1 point2 points ago

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dat plot.

[–]dotexotic 1 point2 points ago

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I get so angry and frustrated when I'm trying to explain to anyone how I'm feeling or what I think. If I do explain it, it usually comes out wrong and is not what I meant.

A few years back I decided to just give up on trying to express myself. Now I just bottle it up :(

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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That doesn't sound healthy to not express yourself, I'm sure you have lots to share, right? Have you ever tried writing your thoughts down?

[–]dotexotic 1 point2 points ago*

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I do try to write down/type my thoughts. Even then, they don't seem like the right words. I keep them though. I've even rewritten this reply a bunch of times.

I wish there was a nice chatroom somewhere I could try and express myself to people, to see if they understand. I think it would be nice. :)

Oh, and thanks for making this post, it made me feel better and that I'm not the only one with this trouble lol

[–]abagofdicks 5 points6 points ago

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Same here. I think it's because I don't think in words. I just know, see and feel how things work, so it's hard for me to describe something to some one. My brain just thinks along the line of "Well why don't they just get it like we do?"

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I think I understand what you're getting at. For me it's like, "Sad is a word. It's not something you feel. I don't feel sad, I feel uuunnnggghhhnnn, you know what I'm talking about right?" they usually don't.

[–]twixx62 44 points45 points ago

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I think this is a little off topic, but I always don't seem to know what to do with my eyes. When I look at someone I feel awkward, when I look around I feel like I'm avoiding eye contact/even more awkward.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 17 points18 points ago

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I hate my eyes! No matter where they look, it's the wrong place.

[–]savagestarshine 7 points8 points ago

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my friend does this. she's worried she's autistic. she's one of the most outgoing people i know. ...psychology 101 student paranoia, lol

[–]inahc 1 point2 points ago

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it's more an aspie trait. hell, there's even a book called "Look Me in the Eye"

[–]Holly_here 2 points3 points ago

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What I have learned to do in situations like this, is look at different parts of their face. I look at their eyes sometimes, but I'm mostly looking at an eye brow, or their nose or even right between their eyes. So it looks like I'm engaged without having to actually have the awkward constant eye contact.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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The ole bridge of the nose technique. I use it whenever I feel like someone needs me to look them in the eye. I'm not looking into your actual eyes, bro, you need to stay out of my soul.

[–]dismal626 1 point2 points ago*

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I used to be like this. I noticed that the majority of the people that I talk to stare me right in the eyes, so I figure the normal thing is to stare back at them. Its only awkward if you think it's awkward. Stare right at them when they are talking to you and if they don't like it they can look away and that should signal you to break eye contact a little more often for the person you're talking to if you want to make them more comfortable. It varies from person to person, but just train yourself to look everyone in the eye as much as possible and gauge for yourself whether or not they are okay with it. It will be awkward only for you mostly when you first start, but the more you practice, the more it will be second nature to you. I've always saw it as a sign of respect to look at someone when you're talking to them which is why I taught myself to do this. Good luck.

[–]bnewb 22 points23 points ago

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Em sdnatsrednu ydobon ekil leef I semitemos.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 13 points14 points ago

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Leef ouy woh tsuj wnok ew. yltcefrep uoy dnatsrednu I.

[–]prunk 13 points14 points ago

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Urbafghushikn! Asabergergerberwagabu, jigga frugger swikakample. Bestakwappa hurdeperpido!

[–]viagravagina 25 points26 points ago

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I have dyslexia. Stop.

[–]a-blinkin 6 points7 points ago

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This made me laugh for entirely too long. I am an idiot.

[–]kiwipineapple 1 point2 points ago*

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Ahhhh you ass. I was on a roll and looking forward to reading the whole thread backwards. Then I got to your comment and was like "the fuck..?"

[–]Dr_fish 1 point2 points ago

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konw?!

[–]Perko 1 point2 points ago

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wonk

YFTF

[–]MaplePoutineRyeBeer 17 points18 points ago

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I know that I don't know how to communicate. Everything I say comes out normal or genuine in my mind, but sounds awkward and weird said out loud. Damn Aspergers.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Yes. Damn it straight to hell. My dad's Asperger's ruined my childhood. BTW Maple poutine rye beer sounds kind of gross, no offense.

[–]MaplePoutineRyeBeer 3 points4 points ago

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But separately they're delicious. I wouldn't mind a poutine with maple smoked back bacon with a side of rye ale. Yum.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Perspective makes all the difference, eh? Now that sounds like a meal.

[–]qataridestroyer 13 points14 points ago*

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you actually have the words in your brain. i tend to forget useful day-to-day words. i once forgot the word "understand." that was not easy to explain. it's worst when you forget the word in all languages you speak.

"you know when you get what the other person is saying"

"you mean understand?"

"YES that's the word!"

i also misunderstand people. i need stuff sent to me by email sometimes so i could read it over again, and again until i understand it.

my peers always tell me that i was hard to understand too.

what i hate about myself though, is that i am able to write papers of divine literary context and it would sound coherent, but can't communicate with humans. i feel like an alien sometimes

EDIT:

also a question to you. do you somehow connect words in a weird way? like say "blue" "dolphins" "the white whale" and use those instead of using the word "Ocean"?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago*

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i tend to forget useful day-to-day words

I have this problem too, and the issue always seems to be with nouns. It happens every day and can be highly frustrating.

[–]qataridestroyer 2 points3 points ago

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let's just promise ourselves never to become professors.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Not so much with the strange connection deal, I've heard of that and tried to think of myself doing it, but I can't think of anything specific.

[–]InconsiderateGoon 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, you just described most of me. I forgot how to spell "bye" once but almost all the papers ive ever written since highschool have been first draft submissions at a b+ average. All my points off are from grammar or not being long enough or lack of sources if i dont care about the topic.

Lolz.

[–]vincentrevelations 46 points47 points ago

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I have no idea what you are talking about.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 36 points37 points ago

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That's funny. You're funny.

[–]dudeAwEsome101 11 points12 points ago

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Aaaaah.....huuuh.... Yeah dude

[–]Protuhj 29 points30 points ago

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[–]SUPERSMILEYMAN 11 points12 points ago

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I laughed at this the most. I love visual representations of textual communication, especially when such communication is ill-advised or even disastrously ineffective, but humorously so.

[–]okonisfree 1 point2 points ago

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That's some good communication.

[–]time146 2 points3 points ago

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Oh man.... that is so painful to watch.

[–]Anomander 20 points21 points ago

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I would hazard a guess you're neither crazy nor dumb.

Do you have trouble processing large amounts of information in written form, or even in writing to express yourself? Have you always?

It sounds from your description like you're experiencing what I'd characterize as severe anxiety expressing yourself. It also sounds like you're one of many many folks whose brain runs way faster than mouth or pen or typing can keep up with, and end up losing yourself in the course of attempting to get ideas out while not losing track of a train of thought that is far and gone past what you've managed to express.

Do you find you have an easier time around friends or family, or folks you're comfortable expressing yourself around - or even talking about inconsequential things?

Even ... why did it take you 30 minutes and multiple rewordings to write this post? Was it word pasta to begin with, making no sense, or was it just not as accurate a representation of what you wanted to express as you wanted, or ... something else?

[–]m1k3L777[S] 15 points16 points ago

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Reading is very difficult for me, I seem to pick out random words on the page as they go down, rather than starting at the beginning and going down. Writing is hard because I have to start over again and again. The words I choose may express the same thing, but the first words I choose seem wrong somehow. They are the right words in the right order, but they feel wrong. Anxiety is my whole life, and I definitely feel like my train of thought left the station without me a long time ago. I actually feel like it's more difficult to talk to people I know; the better I know them, the harder it is. Working in customer service, I have to talk to strangers all day, face to face, and I don't have trouble talking to them, but I do have trouble understanding them. I guess my biggest thing is: is there a name for this, and how should I go about improving my communication skills?

[–]Anomander 25 points26 points ago

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I've just realized this is a lot of text for someone who has just told me they don't process a lot of text very well. I'm really sorry, and I will do my best to clarify or simplify anything that gives you trouble. I tried to be short and simple, but I'm bad at that.


So, real quick, to be 100% clear: I am neither a professional nor a Professional within the field. Please check the crazy opinions I have both for yourself and if it feels appropriate with a relevant professional. Equally, please don't self-diagnose without consulting a professional.

I find myself thinking of two possible explanations for what you've described - either an aphasia of some sort that makes processing specific facets of information exceptionally challenging, a particularly severe Attention Deficit Disorder, or minor problems, hugely amplified by anxiety related to communication.

Not the "LOL I HAEV ADD" that many college kids self-diagnose themselves with to explain why they prefer to party and procrastinate rather than do their work, but a legitimate medical problem that hijacks or disrupts your ability to focus.

If you have an aphasia, I have no clue. They are very complicated and wildly inconsistent - coping mechanisms and treatment would vary depending on the specifics.

If you have ADD, medication can control a lot of that racing-thoughts sensation, but many ADD suffers find medication uncomfortable. You can learn coping mechanisms and strategies that would make communication and processing information far easier, and many ADD suffers use medication to moderate symptoms to a controllable level while learning to cope, but eventually are able to rely entirely on learned tools rather than pharms.

If you have a minor problem made worse by anxiety, you can break the anxiety cycle with practice and determination, at which point the relatively minor problem can be worked around at your own pace. Working to improve how your organize and express your thoughts and feeling like you are taking control will go huge steps towards reducing the anxiety response when confronted by a challenging situation.

If it is the latter case, I would recommend "active listening" strategies when someone is talking to you. If they're new to you, simply explain that you have a hearing problem and need them to go slow and allow you time to keep up, then, as they complete ideas, repeat what they said back to them in your own words. Don't hesitate to ask specific questions to clarify points you worry you've missed.

If you're reading, break text into small chunks - a single paragraph or sentence at a time, say, and work at actively processing that information before you move on to the next chunk. There is nothing to be ashamed of needing extra time to read something, or needing to go back and work through it again to make sure you have the content right.

If you are writing, I recommend treating everything like an essay - outline it first. Make sure the "thesis" or one-line summary of your point is clear in your head and on the page. Then, fill in how you plan to express that idea: do you need to argue the point? List the arguments. Do you need to dispute something? List your objections. Do you need to tell a story? List the parts in chronological order. Don't worry about your list being ugly, incomplete, over-complete, or poorly phrased - all you're doing is organizing your thoughts, in all odds no one will ever see this part of the process. Then, last of all, fill in detail, edit phrasing, and get the structure and delivery however you want it. This is how I write everything, everywhere, be they reddit comments, emails, or college essays.

As far as speaking: practice. Lots. Focus on stalling for time, preferably without using stalling words like "um" or "uh" or "like", silence does fine and "Hm, gimme a sec to think about that." is perfectly acceptable if it's going to take a bit. Work on finding your point first, then how you want to express it, and then speaking. A lot of people who see themselves as having severe trouble with verbal communication don't take the time to plan ahead. You might benefit greatly from having someone act as a "speech coach", almost, to work you through forming those habits in a non-threatening environment.

If you're that latter case - racing thoughts, disorganized internal monologue, and minor attention problems all amplified by bad anxiety, you and I are likely rather similar.

Regardless, I'd recommend trying to build coping strategies to organize your thoughts before expressing them, and if diligent effort shows that futile or inadequite, seeking the attentions of a doctor or psychologist (psychiatrist? I can never keep them separate.) to seek deeper causes.

As I said above, I'm sorry this was a clusterfuck of words, let me know if there's something I should simplify or elaborate on if it's giving you trouble.

[–]Orbixx 37 points38 points ago

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Upvoting because of the hilarious amount of text.

[–]Anomander 11 points12 points ago

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I felt like such an asshole when I realized what I'd done... :(

[–]m1k3L777[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Me too.

[–]giwoon 8 points9 points ago

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i have ADD and ADHD heres a tip on reading a shit ton of texts. - highlight sentences with your cursor, or when youre reading a book just use your fingers to follow along to help pace yourself.

[–]luckstruckhavoc 3 points4 points ago

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A thousand upvotes upon your house, good Sir/Madam.

I personally do this all the time; highlight text with the cursor. I find it helps me focus on the sentence or paragraph and completely comprehend before moving on. As well, if I'm distracted by any other subject/stimulus, it makes an easy rout back into what I was comprehending previously.

-Supposedly ADHD as a child, yet haven't sought confirmation as such in adulthood.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Super helpful. I'm fairly certain it's not an aphasia, though an article on aphasia is what got me thinking about the ways I communicate. My GP said my childhood diagnosis of adhd basically doesn't count anymore, I would have to get tested again. My psychiatrists have been more concerned about "depression" than anything else. I have heard a lot about correcting add through nutrition and cognitive therapy, but I wasn't sure what worked for people. Most of what you're saying seems to revolve around "slow down and think about it", which sounds like it could work. "racing thoughts, disorganized internal monologue, and minor attention problems all amplified by bad anxiety" pretty much sums things up, do you ever feel like you have to say your thoughts out loud in order to understand them? I appreciate your help.

[–]Anomander 2 points3 points ago

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I'm fairly certain it's not an aphasia

Good, a huge relief. That's by far the "worst" in terms of difficulty to treat and cope with.

My GP said my childhood diagnosis of adhd basically doesn't count anymore, I would have to get tested again.

Don't rule it out - especially if you're from anywhere where that doesn't cost an arm, a leg, and possibly your firstborn.

If you're from the states and uninsured or your plan doesn't cover it, I'd put it on the list for "when cash comes available" and work towards making that cash happen if coping strategies don't work.

And absolutely, the key is to slow that race of thoughts so it seems less overwhelming and less daunting, and equally so you're not getting swept away with it. It's nice to let your mind race at times, but learning to slow down a little when you're needing to express yourself is huge.

do you ever feel like you have to say your thoughts out loud in order to understand them?

Absolutely. I learn best by doing things, so the very act of speaking or dictating to myself under my breath makes it easier to structure my thoughts.

When talking with friends, I'll often let the group talk for a while as I sort out what I have to say, then chime in when I'm ready. One on one, that's harder, the expectation to pay attention to what they're saying makes it harder to plan my contribution, but "absentmindedly" repeating what they said back them reinforces my own comprehension while also stalling for time to compose a response.

But above all else, practice taking the time to formulate a response, then executing it - it will all get easier with practice. I suspect you'll find your mental pace a fantastic tool once you have a little more control over it.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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You have been really helpful, I feel over 9000 times better right now. Side note: how do you do that thing with the blue line denoting text from the comment you're responding to? I feel like a super-n00b using quotes.

[–]Anomander 1 point2 points ago

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No sweat. Glad to have had any effect at all, and hope you can improve things for yourself. Don't hesitate to shoot me a message if you feel like it might be useful, or just feel like shooting someone a message. I'm a huge procrastinator, so I may not get back to you promptly, but I will eventually.

To quote text, you use ">" at the start of the paragraph.

over 9000

is ">over 9000"

And the quote line will span multiple paragraphs if all of them have the ">" at the start.

over 9000

do that thing

This can be a nuisance if you're wanting to contrast two separate quotes next to each other, because then you have to drop other text in the middle to make it obvious they're not different paragraphs of the same quote.

However, you can also do nested quotes, which I think is awesome but rarely get to use.

My GP said my childhood diagnosis of adhd basically doesn't count anymore, I would have to get tested again.

Don't rule it out - especially if you're from anywhere where that doesn't cost an arm, a leg, and possibly your firstborn.

Done with ">>" in front of the first and ">" in front of the second paragraphs respectively.

I do not know how deep it'll go.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Deeper than I want to travel, I think.

[–]NoFapCowboy734 5 points6 points ago

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We

need

to

go

deeper

[–]m1k3L777[S] 6 points7 points ago

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Buy the ticket, take the ride.

[–]matty2fresh 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Anomander 2 points3 points ago

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...ಠ_ಠ

I don't know if I should upvote you for relevant and potentially helpful information or downvote you for tempting me to rationalize getting high while I write my Soc paper.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 2 points3 points ago

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How about an upvote for not trying to convince me to dump amphetamines or benzodiazepines into my brain, like a doctor would?

[–]matty2fresh 1 point2 points ago

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you should upvote, I read that article and was like, THAT'S ME, and I know how smoking affects me or how dexadrine or ritalin did, and that article explains it, how caffeine aggravates the disorder.

You don't need to get "high" just have enough to be a little medicated.

Just found this link, should prove useful.

http://www.rollitup.org/seed-strain-reviews/164452-adhd-marijuana-strains.html

your local dispensary would be better help but this is a start.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You mentioned in another post that your dad has Aspergers. You should go to a neuropsychologist and see if you inherited it. Aspergers is often misdiagnosed as ADHD (personally, I was diagnosed with ADHD, Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression as a child) because they overlap in many areas. Plus most psychiatrists don't know a lot about Autism/Aspergers, so they don't diagnose people with it. It's a story you hear too often in the Autism/Aspergers community.

A neuropsychologist would also be able to see if it's really ADHD or something else.

If you really want to look into Aspergers as a possibility or have questions, check out /r/aspergers and/or Wrong Planet. We're a friendly crowd. I promise!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Anomander 2 points3 points ago

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Absolutely. I wrote a really long reply to OP on my thoughts that might be useful to you as well.

However, practice and developing coping strategies into permanent habits can go a long way towards dealing with the actual problem, while having perceived control and progress on the problem will do a lot towards breaking the anxiety cycle that surrounds it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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That's a tough way to make a life, friend. Do you enjoy positive attention, or do you think you would prefer to just be left alone altogether, unless you engaged contact?

[–]smjns 1 point2 points ago*

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I prefer to be left alone, I have a wide group of friends, but I never make any points unless i'm talking to someone alone. People usually disagree with what I have to say and then gang up on my thoughts against theirs. I tend to keep quiet.

[–]BandGeek4Life 14 points15 points ago

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For some reason I read this as "DAE feel like they don't know how to commit suicide" I never was great at talking or listening, but I didn't know it had gotten this bad

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds like fate to me.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Possibly Broca's Aphasia? Maybe not, but the first thing that popped into my head.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 5 points6 points ago

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Actually, an article on that is what got me thinking in the first place, but it doesn't seem as extreme as that.

[–]MissSnikkers 4 points5 points ago

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I am terrible at describing or explaining things. Like if someone asks about the book I'm reading or game I'm playing, I can't get a description out. Maybe I'm too hung up on minor details to produce a concise summary. But I think about it a lot and want to be better at it. I'm also really bad at identifying and communicating my own feelings.

[–]MissSnikkers 4 points5 points ago

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I'd be the worst teacher ever

[–]m1k3L777[S] 4 points5 points ago

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I'm terrible with feelings. I can read people extremely well, and I pick up their emotions right away, but when it comes to myself, forget it. I never know if I'm feeling them right or what words to use. I used to be that way with book descriptions, etc. too, you spend so much time describing the the ring, you never get to Mordor.

[–]MissSnikkers 2 points3 points ago

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Exactly!

[–]verygoodyear 5 points6 points ago

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I don't have anything useful to add but just want to say this must be really annoying. I hope you can sort it out. Is it worth going to see your doctor about it? Perhaps it's a medical condition you can get some more information on?

[–]m1k3L777[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Good call. I really wanted to see if this was common more than any other reason.

[–]gmaskew 3 points4 points ago

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I sometimes feel like that, as if my thinking part of my brain is processing twice the amount of information I want to communicate than the speech part of my brain can articulate.

Sometimes I can say a sentence 2 or 3 times using different words and still feel I haven't "got out" what I actually wanted to.

[–]keyboard_crusader 3 points4 points ago

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Why don't I ever run into more people like you (and like me for that matter) anywhere else but besides on reddit? I am in the same boat from the sounds of things. When I have to explain something to someone, I start off by explaining in a way that would make sense to me, then midway through the explanation I get the unmistakable sense that no one is following a word I'm saying. Then I try to explain it in a way I think might make sense to them, but that just ends up making even less sense. It more often than not ends up in me having to draw pictures/ type emails/ refer to things like URLs, documents or whatever else I can find that says what I dismally fail to say.

Same applies the other way. Someone tries to strike up a conversation with me, or at least I think that's what happens, and usually it ends up with them saying something that goes completely over my head. In an attempt not to come across as dim-witted or weird, I just make up what I assume they must've meant, so I respond on that (completely incorrect) assumption and it just results in those faint stares you usually get when someone must be thinking "uhmmm... what?" To make matters worse, when I sit down and run through the whole conversation again in my head, I often realize something like "oh, THAT's what went on there!", by which point it's just way too late. And it's far worse when I have to deal with the opposite sex.

It kind of feels like I'm an abnormal person surrounded by normal people most of the time.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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I'm sure there's a sociological answer to why we gather here, I'm just glad the Internet is here to connect us all. To be honest, I like my world better than the real world sometimes, maybe "normal" people are missing out.

[–]ENGL3R 5 points6 points ago

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Begin social deficiencies circle jerk.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, things got a little out of hand. Get it? Circle jerk? Out of hand? No? Ok.

[–]Charmstrong 2 points3 points ago

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I have that problem as well, but then again I smoke a lot of trees.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Actually seems to help. Different strokes for different folks, eh?

[–]SomePostMan 2 points3 points ago*

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There are primarily two areas of the brain responsible for processing speech: Broca's area and Wernicke's area.

In extreme cases, damage to those specific areas of the brain can produce symptoms similar to (but more extreme than) what you're describing.

So, it sounds like these two regions of your brain may not be communicating between each other the way they do for most people.

Damage to Broca's area ("Broca's aphasia" or "Expressive aphasia") is characterized by a patient's "loss of the ability to produce language (spoken or written)."

Damage to Wernicke's area ("Wernicke's aphasia" or "Receptive aphasia") is characterized by the ability to "speak with normal grammar, syntax, rate, intonation, and stress, but they are unable to understand language in its written or spoken form."

It sounds like you may have slight impairment to Broca's area, which is what bridges your brain's understanding of meaning to the physical motor pattern needed to produce a word.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional.

Edit: copied the wrong definition for Broca's area.

[–]ReaverOnReaver 2 points3 points ago

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Half the time I jumble the words I want to use up, and the other half I just say random words and hope the person gets the jist of what I'm saying.

I have a hard time communicating with people I don't know, and this it's really only because the people I know know how I speak. I know this is because of anxiety of talking to people more then anything else, but it's really frustrating.

On the other hand, I can listen perfectly fine. My problem is I view the world slightly differently and interpret things totally differently then seemingly anyone else, and that causes problems sometimes.

[–]Thejurbul 2 points3 points ago*

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I have a problem where I draw a blank during conversation. I can't think of what to say and have to think really hard to register what anyone has been saying to me.

[–]medieval_dickweed 2 points3 points ago

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Auditory Processing Disorder

[–]abagofdicks 2 points3 points ago

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Are we being socialized by television and movies to be self conscience about our speech? People are rattling off prewritten lines with precision timing and pace, while we stutter through the day. How are we supposed to feel comfortable when people are becoming used to others speaking so well. I'll never be able to talk like the Gilmore Girls.

[–]mjframsay 2 points3 points ago

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I often feel similar to what OP mentioned and other commenters have expressed. I find when I'm speaking, especially public speaking, my mind forgets where it is I was going with what I was saying, resulting in verbal diarrhea. Or if somebody else is talking to me i "zone out" subconsiously and don't understand what they said.

The eye contact problem is one that always troubles me, but only with people that I am not very close with, or people who are "above" me (i.e. boss, professor, etc...).

It may sound weird, but I sometimes I feel as if I am mentally slow / disabled, and people are just being nice / playing along with me. No matter how much I convince myself that that simply CANNOT be true, I can't stop thinking about it which only makes it worse. (sort of like the Truman show premise I guess...)

For me all these symptoms really became apparent after I suffered a few concussions in my grade 12 year in highschool.

It is very strange for me because I am a highly outgoing person who is very social and usually never shy at all and I am still able to maintain great grades at university.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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It may sound weird, but I sometimes I feel as if I am mentally slow / disabled, and people are just being nice / playing along with me. No matter how much I convince myself that that simply CANNOT be true, I can't stop thinking about it which only makes it worse. (sort of like the Truman show premise I guess...)

Yes. I want to know if there's a name for this (besides paranoia), I get that feeling all the time, and when that movie came out, I thought they were trying to warn me or something, it was very unsettling.

[–]mjframsay 1 point2 points ago

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The fact that you feel that way actually makes me feel a whole lot better, really thought I was next to alone on that one.

I think this is a really good thread, and thanks for taking the time to reply to everybody (even the funny ones) it really makes for a much more involving experience, not just a usual thread where people jump on the top comment with the hope of getting noticed.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I think this is a really good thread

You just made my heart explode with joy. You took the time to reply to my thread, it's only right for me to take the time to reply to your comment. I did notice that, after a few hours, the top comment didn't really have much to do with my question (which I'm totally fine with, I don't want to deny someone the answer to their question simply because it's not relevant to MY interests) and then into a weird thing about not knowing peoples' names, but I got everything I was looking for, so I figure, why not let the community have this post and take it where they want to, I'm here to help, not rain on anyone's parade.
As for the trolls who posted, I love them too, they make life interesting and if they got entertainment from my pain, I'm glad I could provide them with something.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]forehanddeath11 1 point2 points ago

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YES

[–]Mandeponium 1 point2 points ago

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You should study Shakespeare. His characters have no trouble expressing themselves, and after spending an afternoon watching his plays I definitely feel more eloquent.

[–]hoobsher 1 point2 points ago

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so you're telling me there's people on reddit who can't communicate?

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I hardly believed it could be true myself, I know.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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GKLHEkgk, kjsk. KWWWAAAAAAAA?

[–]BootsOfDanger 1 point2 points ago

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Lately I've been fumbling over my words, saying them in the wrong order. It's really weird and disconcerting, because I've always been fairly well-spoken.

[–]inahc 1 point2 points ago

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me too. I used to think it was ridiculous when people on tv (especially on ally mcbeal) would screw up their words. I didn't think any real people did that. now I seem to do it every week. >.< last week I kept calling cauliflower broccoli, even after being corrected. wtf.

[–]newsdaylaura18 1 point2 points ago

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YES. Same thing. Half the time I say something at a meeting or to my boss, I'm always WTFing because nothing I say comes out as intended, or how I wanted it to. I constantly feel like people are misunderstanding me too.

[–]Sirefly 1 point2 points ago

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Have you had you hearing checked?

[–]Xaeres 1 point2 points ago

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I can't communicate to women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I have this problem. I feel like there is some physical block between my thoughts and my ability to get them out through my voice. I know what I think but I physically cannot force the words to come out coherently. Writing is definitely easier for me, but it's still not always as clear as I want. I take an SSRI for social anxiety and it has made a huge difference in making it easier for me to communicate naturally.

[–]GodofWar224 1 point2 points ago

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I kind of have a minor version of that where I think of a question repeatedly and want to ask it or take action but something is holding me back. I don't think it's physical but somethings holding me back.

[–]aliaschase 1 point2 points ago

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there are a lot of comments so this might have already been said, but anyway... i don't think you're crazy or dumb. it may be possible, from what you are describing, that you are somewhere within the asperger's spectrum. it might be beneficial to mention what you're going through to your doctor, and get a referral to a psychologist or speech-language pathologist, because they could probably help you figure out what's going on. good luck!

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you for your sentiments. A lot of people have given some really useful information here. The main goal of my post was to see if anyone else had some useful life experience to share, and maybe a few coping strategies to get by until such time as another doctor can be procured.

[–]aliaschase 1 point2 points ago

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i wish you much luck!!

[–]gonnaflynow 1 point2 points ago

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I can get the words out of my mouth easily, but according to other people, they don't actually understand what I say more than half of the time. I don't know if it's a disconnect from my brain to my mouth or just that I talk too fast and the words all blur together, but I end up feeling really stupid either way.

[–]last_minutiae 1 point2 points ago

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Toothbrush. Potato. I'm right there with you buddy.

[–]zublits 1 point2 points ago

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That's a symptom of attention deficit disorder. Something to consider.

[–]disasterific 1 point2 points ago

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Sometimes the brain - mouth barrier is...funky. Especially in a high paced conversation.

[–]theowest 1 point2 points ago

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Well I have Aspergers. So this for me is pretty much explained.

[–]C_IsForCookie 1 point2 points ago

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I speak in riddles cause my words get in my way. I feel like it's always raining in my head.

[–]bordslampa 1 point2 points ago

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I think you are suffering from something. maybe someone else knows what exactly but you should definitely investigate more. better find out about it sooner than later.

[–]bobisbob 1 point2 points ago

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[–]long_wang_big_balls 1 point2 points ago

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Kind of relate to this in the sense that I don't really know how to initiate conversation, so I end up isolating myself.

For example, I've been at my work place for over 3 years. Some people think I'm the work experience guy.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly, what do you say to a complete stranger that you've seen every day for 3 years? At least you have big balls, right?

[–]swight74 1 point2 points ago

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This sounds like classic anxiety. I have noticed when I am calm I can communicate much better. I also notice that when I'm anxious and someone is talking to me, my brain is so many places at once while they are talking, not much goes into short term memory, let alone long term. :) The best cure is practice. That, and maybe some Cognitive Behavior Therapy for anxiety problems.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Apes are social animals, we would die without each other.

[–]dannyduke141 1 point2 points ago

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This use to be me a couple of years ago. Since then without knowing I fixed myself. I picked a smooth talking role model. (i'm really into Burn Notice so I picked Michael) And I would go in the mirror and actually plan out all my potential conversations in a way that he would. Eventually I got the charismatic skill. I don't pretend to be him, I pretend to have the confidence and the ability to bullshit my way through anything. As with anything in life, its all about practice. It sounds weird, but talking to yourself out loud and working on facial expressions and enunciating certain letters in words, always helps your vocabulary, your speech, and your pace of words. And rewriting something isn't bad, this took me 10 minutes to proof read and reword.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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That's basically what I did, I faked my confidence until it became real, and it totally helped lessen a lot of the anxiety I had. That doesn't sound weird at all, actually like common sense, practice makes perfect with everything, and my mumbling has lessened with concentrated practice. My roommate was obsessed with Burn Notice, that's some quality television programming right there.

[–]HollaDieWaldfee 1 point2 points ago

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I have the same problem. It's also when a group of people is talking and I just drift of for one second and don't get what they say my mind is like "well you don't know what they're talking about anyway so I will just go off wandering". And then I also have the problem that I can't focus on the conversation and just keep drifting off, even if I'm interested in the subject.

This has continuously harmed my social life, because people think I'm emotionless or stupid, or strange. The thing is that most people will take it as an insult when you ask them to repeat what they were talking about for 5 minutes and then would have to do it again because you still didn't listen... so you just nod and agree and hope they won't see that you don't know what they were talking about. Sometimes this is triggered just by hearing a word or a name or something where my mind knows that I don't know anything about that subject and goes straight into another world.

Sometimes I just can't get out of one specific thought and it will be stuck in my head for the whole day and no matter what I do the thought will come back everytime. It's like something wants me to think about one thing over and over again to make sure it's really the way I thought about it the first time.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Do you find the thoughts you are stuck to be negative usually, or more random?

[–]HollaDieWaldfee 1 point2 points ago

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Most of the time they tend to be negative. But sometimes it's just random stuff about life or people in general or people I know or music. But it's harder to keep the negative ones away. They will come up and just be the same thought I had before making me think it all over again. Often the random thoughts will drift into negative ones and I don't even realize it.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Do you make up stories in your head a lot? Oftentimes, my mind will catch on some small thing and I will end up living out different lives in my head before I have to make a conscious effort to return to reality.

[–]HollaDieWaldfee 1 point2 points ago

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haha that's exactly what happens to me. Sometimes I really need a few seconds to come back. And then for a few moments everone and everything around me seems weird and strange or surreal. It kinda feels like I got beemed into this moment in reality and I need a few seconds to look around and realize where I am and that there are people around me. It's funny I always thought that I'm the only one who's mind does whatever it wants

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Yes! Everything is so weird afterwards. It's like, did you not just come on a ride with me? No? You were here the whole time? Sucks for you...

[–]turkboy 1 point2 points ago

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shrugs

[–]Bob3333 1 point2 points ago

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I have this problem, but my issue seems to be that everyone else on the planet has this secret code language where they don't actually mean what they say. Instead, there's this "reading between the lines" thing and making wild assumptions about a speaker's true intent using non-verbal cues, and it appears to be in wide use. I find this all very frustrating since I can speak a sentence and have people interpret it in a way that is not justified by the words in that sentence.

[–]shiroutsuki 1 point2 points ago

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(&I thought I was the one and only odd one out!) the words end up trapped, causing me to be fixated on that one point... D;

[–]m1k3L777[S] 1 point2 points ago

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That one very important point, where everything would be fixed, but you can't spit it out, right?

[–]LunaD_W 1 point2 points ago

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I get that and an irrational fear of talking on the phone to strangers. I end up just saying the same things over and over like a script.

I also never think of what to say before I say it and I can't do math in my head.

[–]satanistic_Tweety 1 point2 points ago

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This was a really nice thread, i've been thinking about exactly these characteristics of mine since ages. And I have been able to relate to far too much things states here . But I guess it's just natural to project these things on oneself ;)

Anyway, if you see this, thank you very much :)

[–]Dice_for_Death_ 1 point2 points ago

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Always. Often. It's the worst feeling; I feel like I'm sabotaging my relationships/friendships. But, my problem lies within my "social maladjustment" diagnosis, from a dozen years ago. Dealing with it still.

[–]viviemon 1 point2 points ago

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it's a struggle to just write this

[–]TotallyGeekage 1 point2 points ago

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Sometimes happens due to my bit of a speech impediment and my Asoerger's. I'll be there for ages, trying to get my meaning across, but it will take a long time or come out as something totally different.

[–]llill 1 point2 points ago

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YES.

Sometimes when people talk, I won't understand a single thing they said and need them to repeat. It usually happens when I get stuck processing a word, but it takes too long and I miss the rest of the sentence. I felt like I just listened to gibberish, not even English.

I know I'm not dumb. I'm in University for Computer Science and I'm doing well. I just have language problems sometimes (more like defects..). i don't think you're dumb either.

Also, sometimes I know exactly how to explain an idea in my head, but when I try to put it into words for someone it all goes downhill and my thought kind of dies. The words start not making sense and I have to apologize for my inability to explain my thoughts. Sometimes I feel like people will never understand me since i can't communicate well.

[–]hero2bash 1 point2 points ago

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Typical internet person. It's called social skills for a reason, you should use it to improve the skill, I recommend talking to at least two person everyday. You find difficulty in communicating because you're not practicing it as much as you hsould. Or you could just be autistic or suffering from social anxiety disorder.

[–]m1k3L777[S] 3 points4 points ago

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I love talking to strangers, that's why I work in customer service. I have friends and sexual relationships. I only come to the Internet to get plugged into a community larger than my real-life community. I appreciate you trying to help though, I know many people have trouble connecting to others face to face because of their fears. I've been banging the confidence drum all day, but no one on the Internet wants to hear it. Frustrating, to say the least. I won't bash you, hero. Hell, I'll even upvote you, it's the least I can do (literally).

[–]mrmolecularbiology 1 point2 points ago

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Come to a site full of socially awkward people and ask us if we have trouble communicating, its not like we complain or make memes about it all the time.

[–]baloneyjoe 3 points4 points ago

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[–]32-hz 1 point2 points ago

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I hope you get better man I'm sorry :(

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]matty2fresh 0 points1 point ago

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There is something called RBS (racing brain syndrome) and it affects some with ADD which you may have. (read the link I posted below, and I believe with the right strain it helps, hope you are in a MMJ state)

[–]violetxrain 0 points1 point ago

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I have this problem too. I've had it my entire life. Through out my childhood and adolescence I had a harder time getting the words out. Now I stammer and I have to restart my sentences all the time, but I get the ideas out. My really big issue is understanding people. I can hear them loud and clear, but it's like they're speaking some foreign language to me. I'll ask them to repeat themselves sometimes, but that almost never helps. Usually just nod and say "yeah".

[–]Cradlehopper 0 points1 point ago

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I seem to listen and process what other people are saying pretty well, but actually replying in a coherent fashion trips me up like no other. I feel like a complete idiot most of the time ;-;