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So I started GOMAD today (gallon of milk a day) and I have been shitting all day. (self.Fitness)
submitted 11 months ago by TriForce64
Quite honestly I am fucking hating this, but that is not stopping me, but its just such a shitty experience, literally and metaphorically.
[–]SneakyFloorMop 26 points27 points28 points 11 months ago
the title had me laughing my ass off. Milk makes me shit like crazy to hahaha
[–]TriForce64[S] 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
Yeah man its not fun at all. My hole hurts from all the wiping I have done through out the day.
[–]ChunksMcGunks 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Try getting baby wipes and using them for the final wipe. Feels good man.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I used chapstick.
[–]TriForce64[S] -9 points-8 points-7 points 11 months ago
I don't have any ):
[–]howdareyou 113 points114 points115 points 11 months ago
Yeah you have to buy them first, then you'll have some. I've been using them for a long time. Seriously if you got shit on any other part of your body, would you just wipe it off with some dry paper?
[–]snf 28 points29 points30 points 11 months ago
Yeah you have to buy them first, then you'll have some.
Yeah you have to buy them first, then you'll have some.
An upvote is not enough to express the amount of amusement I got from this sentence.
[–]remyg6 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Same... I'm at work in the middle of taking calls and I burst out loud while answering. I had to just hang up on the poor guy.
[–]YouEnglishNotSoGood 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Do you happen to know Vanzack?
[–]TriForce64[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
No I was talking about last night. all the stores near me were closed so I was crewed. I am all good now.
[–]kataclizm 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
You can try to fold a few pieces of TP together and wet them down at the sink and use that. Should give you some relief.
Tried that before the day after a hot curry (afterburn). Do not recommend unless you want to pick bits of paper out of your asshole all day (I dunno, maybe some of you are into that sort of stuff...)
[–]bpm2k 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Many an asshole has been wiped this way - you need to up your wipe-finesse.
[–]kataclizm 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I have never had trouble with it. I guess it depends on the quality of the TP you are using.
[–]CammorakMartial Arts (Retired) 15 points16 points17 points 11 months ago
Do it Muslim style: use your hand and wash it off. It's how our paleo ancestors wiped, so it must be good for you.
[–]ajrw 28 points29 points30 points 11 months ago
It can take some time to warm up to though, maybe buy some Vibram gloves to help get your phalanges in shape.
[–]Noexit 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Those Vibrams are just for douches that want people to see how cool they look when they wipe.
[–]brandtftw 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
[–]nonameworks 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You are probably lactose intolerant (at that degree), it is not good for you!
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 11 months ago*
Why gomad and not a gainer in 16 oz of milk?
Edit: guess retards gonna retard
[–]ScizRGaming 17 points18 points19 points 11 months ago
Is the shit white?
[–]Rageahol 34 points35 points36 points 11 months ago
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
Out of all the fucked up shit in my browser history, I dread the thought of having to explain this more than anything else.
[–]MogwoggleBaseball, Weightlifting (Intermediate) 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
You're not visiting the right sites.
It is not haha
[–]mjroger2 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Give it some time..it will be.
[–]TriForce64[S] 14 points15 points16 points 11 months ago
I just returned from taking a shit, and yeah its kinda white...
[–]PeroxydeWeightlifting 48 points49 points50 points 11 months ago
Excellent. The transformation has begun.
[–]kevinc69 -17 points-16 points-15 points 11 months ago
Sounds like something that could eventually wind up in, /r/ImGoingToHellForThis
[–]bksontape 15 points16 points17 points 11 months ago
...no it doesn't
[–]MogwoggleBaseball, Weightlifting (Intermediate) 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
It sure does, that place is astronomically bad at being offensive.
[–]mjroger2 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Nice turnaround. It took me about 2 weeks for the final product.
[–]Forever_Bored 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
white shit would get you front page guaranteed!
[–]TriForce64[S] -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 months ago
LOL, its barely noticeable.
[–]aa93 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Ignore these people, they've obviously never done GOMAD. Regardless of your milk drinking habits before starting GOMAD, you're gonna be pissing out your ass for a couple days. Also farts. Lots of farts. It does get better, and the end result is worth it.
[–]TriForce64[S] 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
Thank you sir, hopefully that is the case.
[–]YGOnewguy 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
i'm guessing it just takes the body a week or two to get used to the gallon of milk?
[–]PigDog4 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I don't know man. I did GOMAD for two weeks. I worked up to it over the course of two weeks, and then did GOMAD for two weeks. Yes, I did shit a lot, but it wasn't painful and I wasn't "pissing out of my ass." It was pretty loose, but it wasn't completely liquid.
I then stopped GOMAD because I thought a whole gallon was ridiculous. I've done 1/2 to 3/4 GOMAD since then (3 months now), depending on how much I eat that day.
[–]fuckyoubarry 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Have you gained weight?
[–]PigDog4 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Yes. I went from 133->148lbs over the past 4 months. The first 8lbs or so were on GOMAD, but I was worried about getting fat so I slowed down to 1/2 or 3/4 GOMAD depending on the day. I probably didn't make gainz as fast as I could have, but I've added 100lbs to my deadlift, 90lbs to my squat, and 60lbs to my bench over those 4 months, so I'm pretty happy with my progress. Currently squatting 3x5 at 1.5xBW (225lbs) and benching 3x5 at 150lbs.
[–]iNVWSSV 13 points14 points15 points 11 months ago
Is lactose intolerant.
[–]daroons 9 points10 points11 points 11 months ago
Get some lactase pills they're inexpensive and will save you a great deal of pain. Unless you enjoy your water shits that is...
[–]cc81 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
GOMAD is stupid. Why not start with adding 1/3 of a GOMAD to your normal diet instead and see if you gain weight?
[–]trex902 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
your body isn't used to in taking so much milk, give it time to adjust. Its just like the film Super Size Me. That guy eats completely healthy and he throws up before he can even finish his first big mac lol. By day 30 hes downing 3 of them a day. By day 30 of GOMAD you will be 20lbs heavier and drinking milk like water. Stick with it.
[–]TriForce64[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Cool, i am not giving up.
[–]trex902 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
also I started GOMAD last week and have gained 4 lbs.. although I have a better history of drinking milk so my only side effects have been pissing a little more and im a bit more gassy lol
[–]TriForce64[S] 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
That is great though (: I will keep on doing until I get fat as shit. Nah just a few pounds.
[–]trex902 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
ya Im not too worried about putting on fat. Im a fit 160lbs so Im hoping to get to 175lbs and then give it a few months and I'll naturally get more cut.
I am 130, i at least want to get to 160
[–]YGOnewguy 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
i'm guessing you've done GOMAD, so i'mma ask you a couple questions:
while drinking a gallon of milk everday, do you still drink a gallon of water in addition (for hydration of course)?
would there be an issue with drinking a gallon of 1% chocolate milk instead of 1% white milk?
Chocolate milk has a bajillion more calories from the sugar. It depends on what your goals are.
[–]avo_cadoRowing 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Milk is still primarily water.
haha god no. A gallon of milk and a gallon of water is way too much! I get plenty of hydration from the milk, and I do drink some water during the day but not to that extent.
Also chocolate milk will probably taste better and is more calories, but like already said: its sugar calories from chocolate syrup. Stick with either whole or 2% reduced fat (what I use).
[–]christmas_sweater 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
That shit is incredible. Pun absolutely intended.
[–]PigDog4 52 points53 points54 points 11 months ago
Two possibilities. You're either lactose intolerant or a moron.
If you are lactose intolerant, well, that sucks.
If you didn't drink milk regularly before, and just today decided to drink a gallon, well, then you're a moron. Probably should have worked up to it over the course of a week. You didn't go and rep 1.5xBW squats your first day in the gym, you don't drink a gallon of milk your first day of bulking.
[–]Noedel 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
Hey, it may be a bit stupid, but at least it's not the guy a while back who thought it was "glass of milk a day" and ended up gaining jack shit.
[–]TriForce64[S] 29 points30 points31 points 11 months ago
Woah woah woah. Calm down with the harsh words.
[–]PigDog4 54 points55 points56 points 11 months ago
If you are lactose intolerant, well, that's unfortunate.
Is that better?
[–]puppymaster123 -22 points-21 points-20 points 11 months ago
[–]I_I_II_III_IIIIIRoller Derby -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
[–]Ikehitstina 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
k bro, now is the time to evaluate what your goals in lifting and exercising are. do you only care about making as much strength gain as possible in a short time frame? if that is the case, by all means, drink dat milk and take dose shits. however, if you are just looking to put on a bit of muscle and look good with a shirt off for dem hoes (be honest with yourself now), stop GOMAD right fucking now! a gallon of milk has ~2400. and to pull a number out of my ass and add three meals a day at a modest 500 cals each to that amount, you are looking at ~4000 cals a day. unless you are on gear or are some genetic outlier, 4000 cals a day will make anyone put on fat. i don't care if you listen to or trust me on this, but atleast you can't say nobody told you so now. gomad, not even once. inb4 all the mad that goes with fittit neckbeards defending such a laughable diet regime.
[–]TriForce64[S] 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
I am 130 lb 18 year old dude that is trying to get bigger. My metabolism is fucking fast.
[–]steelcitykid 14 points15 points16 points 11 months ago
It probably isn't, you just don't keep track of your caloric intake and don't know how to eat big yet.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 11 months ago
100% this, i was 132lsb at 19 and everyone thought i had a fast metabolism, turns out skipping breakfast every day is a huge amount of calories you don't consume
[–]steelcitykid 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
I ate like maybe 1 meal a day, and snacked on garbage all the time. It wasn't until I counted calories and made myself eat consistently that I gained anything. Seriously, save yourself the trouble and start logging it now. You're wasting your time and effort otherwise.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 months ago
He's 18, it probably is.
[–]steelcitykid 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
How many people do you suppose can "out metabolize" 3500+ calories a day? I was the same as him, I graduated high school under 120lbs and bullshitted everyone with the hard-gainer attitude; It's bunk. Eat a lot, work out, rest and the gains will come for anyone. I believe fast metabolism is by and large an excuse for lack of dedication.
[–]Bumperpegasus 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
How long has you've been exersicing?
GOMAD rarely works as intended.
Just get ready to put on ALOT of fat and a little more muscles than usual
Yeah I just want to get bigger. I am not expecting amazing muscle results, but just at least a little bit of weight to help me put on some muscle
[–]red-dit 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You're 18, muscle results will be good if you work hard in the gym and get your food and sleep. Dont worry about these things.
[–]munoodle -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 months ago
I'm gonna go ahead and second this. I'm a 19 year old male who just started seriously going to the gym and eating better, and went from 165 to 170 in a month. No fad diets, no crazy workout routines, I just spend a solid scheduled hour in the gym 5-6 days a week. I'm about to bump that to twice a day hear and there when I can
[–]YouStupidCunt 4 points5 points6 points 11 months ago
Well, be thankful. When I was drinking a ton of milk it bound me up and it felt like my shits were the size of Buicks, accept harder and with sharper angles.
How did it go for you with the weight gaining.
[–]YouStupidCunt 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
At the time? No. I was young and incredibly thin. I was drinking a lot of milk to go with my protein and weight gain supplements while eating as much as possible. I would total between 4,000 and 7,000 calories a day and I did this for several months.
I managed to gain 10 lbs but I could not handle the milk and shakes and food quantities any longer so I stopped. And lost the 10 lbs rather quickly even though I was still lifting as much as I could at the time.
To this day I can not down a milky protein shake as the graininess and taste makes me want to vomit.
At the time I was 18-20 years old, 6'1" and 125-ish lbs. Now, I'm 37, 175lbs. I stopped worrying about weight and just focused on my diet and lifting. The weight eventually came, and with the weight came muscle.
I hate the protein shakes. They fill my stomach and make me feel like puking, I still drink them though.
same here. I cannot just take milk and protein powder together and drink it.. so what I do is make banana chocolate protein shakes in a blender. I take 2 bananas, cut them up, and store them in the freezer over night. Then i put them in a shake, use 3 cups of milk, and 2 scoops of chocolate protein powder. Shit tastes pretty good and is a pretty sizeable amount of calories. I drink one right when I wake up to get my body out of starvation mode, and one right before bed so my body has something to use while I sleep.
[–]Trenks 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Curious. Did you think introducing a gallon of milk to your day would be a pleasant experience for the first week or two?
Yeah but not as bad as it actually is.
[–]nerdyfitnessguy 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Oats (fiber) help A LOT with adapting to a new high calorie diet. Keeps the systems flowing. But yeah, you're gonna feel bloated for a while either way.
[–]ViendGeneral Fitness 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
This doesn't quite pertain to the topic right now, but how small are you right now that you want to do GOMAD?
I am a 130 lb 18 year old who wants to get bigger and fit.
Height? If you're anything above 5'7" then GOMAD is good but if you're any shorter you're in for some srs fat.
yeah I am like 5'8
Hmm not sure, but definitely not a lot
I went from 133 -> 150lbs at 5'9" by doing 1/2 GOMAD for 4 months. I'm not as big as I could be, but I also don't have very much fat.
GOMAD is not entirely necessary if you're meticulous about making sure you get enough calories.
[–]Wreck_Loose_Recluse 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
[–]jm1872a 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
You have a pretty clear case of lactose intolerance... Your body cannot digest the lactose and the stress of it is actually going to affect digestion of the whey protein in the milk anyway, so GOMAD is probably not a good idea for you.
[–]I_SHANK_BATS 2 points3 points4 points 11 months ago
Eat more fiber.
[–]jepjepjep 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
Congratulations, you're (probably) lactose intolerant.
If you still want to do GOMAD, then lactase pills or lactase added/lactose-free milk are your best options.
[–]s_mccPowerlifting 8 points9 points10 points 11 months ago
Everyone's lactose intolerant on the SUDDENLY A WILD GALLON APPEARS! scale.
[–]essendoubleop 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Whole milk, nonfat milk, what?
[–]TriForce64[S] 3 points4 points5 points 11 months ago
Full fat milk
[–]Chromavita 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Hole milk, by the sound of it.
[–]mattseanbachmanCircus Arts 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Try drinking less more frequently, or, start with a more tolerable amount (e.g. 1/2 gallon) and work up gradually.
yeah there is no way I will finish the gallon today, my ass cant take it anymore, I will juts let my body adjust to it for now.
[–]imyourdaddy86 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
i'm no expert by any means but i can tell you that GOMAD gave me my biggest gains in strength and size when i was trying to add weight/strength. I started doing Starting Strength at 130lbs and easily shot up to 150, that 20lbs makes a big difference on a skinny frame! it sounds to me like you may be lactose intolerant to some degree, i never had this much of an issue. Lactaid it up son!
[–]ClvrNickname 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I'm not lactose intolerant (I normally drink about 1/3 gallon of milk everyday anyway) but when I tried GOMAD I was shitting like you wouldn't believe. I had to stop the program after two weeks because I had actually lost several pounds despite eating 3000 calories a day on top of the milk.
[–]Battou62 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Does milk clean you out that bad? That must be good for you?
[–]PepitoneConQueso 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I really don't think GOMAD is necessary, I gained 15lbs clean in 4 months drinking 1/3 of a gallon of skim milk a day on top of my normal diet, gainer shakes, and creatine.
If it is so unpleasant for you then stop doing it.
[–]jalez 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
Svunt shake. 1.5/day.
Less lactose + more fiber = better shits.
[–]dyllos 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You're supposed to ease into it.
[–]MagnussonVoice of Reason 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
When I was doing GOMAD I needed lactase pills, and it sounds like you do, too.
[–]TakeRepliesLiterally 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I drink a ton of milk, probably little under a gallon but definitely over a half gallon a day. I have perfectly solid shits. I also supplement psyllium husk. Dunno if it's just purely coincidental but you could try that, it's pretty cheap.
[–]ithika 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
So you're basically flushing all the nutrients of everything you eat straight out of your body?
My shit was bright green when I was doing this.
[–]rollerboogie 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I did it for 2 months without any stomach problems. Even used raw milk sometimes and was done. Lactose intolerant maybe?
[–]frank_the_catRunning 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
What. The Fuck. Is this.
Clarification: Why are you drinking a gallon of milk?!??!
[–]avo_cadoRowing 5 points6 points7 points 11 months ago
You must be new around here
I'm a girl? I don't drink gallons of milk?
[–]8997 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
I'm on your side right now.... why in god's name would someone considering productive gains consider 1G of milk a day? You'll put on size, sure, but fat unless you're actually following a program that allows you to UTILIZE those calorie gains. Even then you'll be deficient in other nutrients necessary to maintain health.
I'm completely ignorant to this "program" I'll admit but I want someone to possibly point me towards a reliable soruce stating that GOMAD is healthy in any fashion and not just some weird "quick fix"
[–]frank_the_catRunning 1 point2 points3 points 11 months ago
This is what I meant, just better worded and fairly eloquent.
Mainly, why not eat something you like to get those calories (chicken or beef or something like that)?
[–]HurstT 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
You lactos intolerant? Or sensitive? Maybe gomad isn't for you if bothers your gastro
[–]blargerz -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago
Could be casein intolerant. Try goat milk. It is 2x price though.
[–]TheCaspian 0 points1 point2 points 11 months ago
GGOMAD? Your bathroom will smell like the worsts parts of India
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 11 months ago*
Hate to ask this since you've already decided to do GOMAD, but...
Do you honestly need to be doing GOMAD? GOMAD's main utility is mainly for people who have no money and want to bulk, and after that for people who are lazy and don't want to put any effort into the diet portion of a bulk. If you aren't completely broke, then GOMAD is a bad choice.
If you're set on doing GOMAD, then good luck.
Edit: Also saw from a different comment you're a "hardgainer". There are still better ways to gain than GOMAD.
Also, for the love of god, GOMAD doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can play around with it. Milk is awesome but it's not like if you don't drink the whole gallon you wont make any gains. You can drink get most of your calories from food and then drink a bunch of milk for the rest. Find what works for you.
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