[by request] IAm/WasA single teenage dad

avocadotime · 2 years

How did this affect your schooling situation? Did you have to drop out of high school, and did you go to (or plan on going to) college? And how were you able to afford the extra expenses?

ttaavi · 2 years

Man... As a lad who didn't have his dad around when I was younger (I'm 20 now), I have to say that you are a brilliant person. My dad was with us until I got seven or so, and then he got hooked on gambling and such.

So there were those 10-or-so years when we had sort of awkward relationship. But after I turned 18, and moved to my own apartment (and manned up a bit - NOT AS MUCH AS YOU, though!) we started to see each other again. I know he loves me, and I love him. We're really similar and I have forgiven him the fact that he wasn't around when I was teased and bullied at school.

Just remember, that even small things can make a child happy. One of my happiest memories is when I was 6 and I finished swimming school... My mom was going to be there, but by surprise my dad turned out as well... I was so happy, and I swam really good. I felt like they were both proud of me.

Take care, be a good dad.

ohhaither · 2 years

I don't have any questions for you but I just want to say I wish more guys would would take responsibility for their actions like you did

catpockets · 2 years

Ever encounter any anti-male prejudice, such as on playgrounds while playing with your daughter? We are expecting our first in three days and I'm interested in your experiences!

sluttymcslutterton · 2 years

Dude, make sure when she starts...changing, she has a female who she can talk to, etc. That's so important for a girl.

underground_man-baby · 2 years

Were you and your ex aware of birth control? Did you use it?

ObscureSaint · 2 years

Did you have help (and/or other parents to ask for advice) when your daughter was small? I remember being pretty overwhelmed as a new mom. Babies are so freaking demanding! :)

Ruby16 · 2 years

Why did you want the baby? (No disrespect to your daughter intended, and can't think of a better way to word it. Just curious what your thought process was at the time.)

thefightclubber · 2 years

I gotta ask: Are you dreading that puberty phase when boys start calling the house and asking your daughter out?

MonoDede · 2 years

You're amazing.

What's your relationship with your daughter like? Is she more like a little sister or a friend? Did you choose to send her to a private or state school? What kind of activities do you guys do together? What does she want to be when she grows up?

And how are you going to deal with all the things that teenage girls go through - menstruation, body image issues, boys, fashion trends, etcetc?

DeusIgnis · 2 years

You sir, are a manlier man than I will ever be. Kudos.

[deleted] · 2 years

Hey man, so much respect for you. I'm 20 and couldn't imagine being able to do what you've done.

Congratulations on everything! Hope you and your daughter are well.

RumpleForeSkin72 · 2 years

I became a single father at 25. It is awesome to hear that you are doing well and took responsibility. One of my best friends has recently taken that step himself and has been doing a great job. We are no longer in the minority that we once were. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good looking out Brother!

Smartyfish · 2 years

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2 years

First, good job on being a responsible human being. Also, on not kicking your daughters mom completely out of her life.

How hard is it to date? What do you do for a living?

ParkourParkour · 2 years

How well do you and your ex or her family get along? I say this because I am going through this exact same situation; we found out at the end of March during our senior year of high school that she was pregnant. Very, very long story short, she has a problem with not lying and trying to twist people's words to suit her needs, which I had seen first hand when we were dating. When we started to get rocky I found an internet blog called Cafemom that she thought NO ONE knew about... I truly got lucky that I found it. It was like an open book - a public journal, with all of these scathing things about me and how I have never been in my daughter's life... like, the usual dead beat dad stuff. Not only did I drop my scholarships to an out of state school (which dropped oos tuition) to go to the college she went to, I worked all summer for an oil company to pay for everything, that I had no say in the naming of my daughter, and that she gave her her last name. I stayed in college, but we've had to go to court over 10 times in less than 3 years for me to get to see my daughter every other weekend. The judge even fully changed my daughter's last name to mine last April, and she appealed it... and here it is, 17 months later and the case hasn't been heard, and my daughter's been enrolled in preschool has learned and been taught her mother's last name purposefully.

She could have went to college 3 times for the amount that I've had to pay to get to see her so little. It's really sad, there's no way I would have been able to been able to swing this without my parent's help.

tyrannosaurusfuck · 2 years

My cousin got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 14 and she was 13. They went through a lot of tough times in the beginning.
They also considered adoption but decided against it.

The important thing was that they grew up fast and their son is very well rounded and taken care of now.

I applaud your convictions to take care of your daughter and wish you and her the best.

falsehood · 2 years

Congrats; there's a bunch of attention on boys who grow up without dads - how it messes them up, etc. Do you think that your daughter has been affected by the lack of a mom?

LouisCyphier · 2 years

Upvote to you Sir. My oldest son was born when I was 21. He is now 20 and his brother is 16. Both have different mothers but I have raised them as a single Dad there entire lives. Had some help from Grandma along the way but pretty much all on my own. We are very close and have awesome times together.

CHEERS!

2 years

[deleted]

phlunkie · 2 years

As a man that was a single dad back in his 20's, this upvote is for you.

zerstoeren · 2 years

How did you manage work and such? Did your parents help you?

mcgroobber · 2 years

I can't think of a question so just give your daughter a hug from reddit.

i_Troll · 2 years

You're so responsible, I'm proud of you.. Imagine if you and your ex decide to abort her, you won't have her cute smile around. ;) All the best for you and your cute daughter.

Emilushka · 2 years

You sound like a fantastic parent.

Wonch907 · 2 years

Whats the dating life like as a young single father?
How did you support yourself and your daughter? Did your parents help at all?
How did this affect your education?
Favorite color?

I think I was the first to request you do an AMA. Thanks, and keep being a real man who accepts responsiblity.

shalmac · 2 years

One of my best friends is in the same situation. He had his boy the year he was graduating high school and he is probably one of the best fathers I have encountered. The mom is always too busy partying and going out to the bars, but he is always at hone wig his boy. He's also balancing this with getting a degree. He rarely gets to come hang out which is sad but he's responsible and dedicated. I can't say enough good things about him and in the future his son will realize all that his father gave up to take care if his boy and I'm sure he(dad) wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I'm sure your girl will have nothing but love for you an the bond between you two will always be stronger because of what you've done for her. Good for you man, there are many that could learn a thing or two from you.

and_on · 2 years

No questions but tremendous amounts of respect. Good job, dude :]

kazizmo · 2 years

ditoa... You have all the respect as I can give to a "random" guy on the web.

Downvoted_Defender · 2 years

A very grown up decision for a 17 year old to make, hats off to you buddy.

Shanjayne · 2 years

You are pretty amazing and your daughter is beautiful. Congrats on being a real man.

SingleDad23 · 2 years

Just wanted to say grats to you man. I posted an AMA like this awhile back and it's good to see you aren't alone. So what do you do for a living?

upvote_for_dissent · 2 years

Your daughter has a beautiful, happy smile. Some people, when they smile, they look like they're not really happy -- she looks like she's really happy. I think maybe you have done a good job as a dad.

AwesomePantalones · 2 years

No questions, I just want to tell you that you have a beautiful daughter. If it weren't because you man'd up and took that decision, on this day, August 29th, 2010, I would've never seen the picture of a such a cute girl in the internet.

This is just the smallest example of how many lives you've affected (in a good way). Thank you very much!

doogles · 2 years

Why are you the manliest man?

eatshitsleep · 2 years

Based on what I've read, you seem to be a mature person already so I'm not going to give you any advices or even ask you questions. I just want to tell you thank you.

walesmd · 2 years

Thanks for posting this. I was just put into the single-father position as well after my wife and I separated. I'm fortunate I'm not having to deal with this as a teen (I'm 26, daughter is 4), it can get pretty overwhelming at times.

I'll definitely be reading through your comments here (and you've been friended) as you have me whooped when it comes to experience and how other people react to your family.

I've yet to read the entire thread, so I apologize if this has already been answered, but one of the problems I am having at the moment is keeping my social life together. Yes, my daughter is the most important thing and deserves all the attention, but I have to break away and seek intelligent, adult, interaction from time to time (plus, I wouldn't mind having a lady friend from time to time).

As of now, I've been relying on babysitters which is working out well. With the ladies, it's hit or miss as to whether they are put-off by me being a single-dad - I try not to bring it up, but somehow it slips into the conversation innocently enough.

I find myself leaning towards the single-mother circuit a bit, which is probably just a product of being a father (going to parks, kid events, etc). So, any tips on socializing as a single father?

And since you shared, picture of Tiara and I at the fair.

Edit: Also, any tricks on doing hair!? I think I need to get Tiara's haircut, it's all the way down her back and a pain to manage. Plus, I just don't have any knowledge of how to make the perfect ponytail, or whatever. For now, just been applying conditioner very liberally in the baths so it's easier to brush out in the morning.

xndz · 2 years

Oh my god, she is adorable!

ikonixx · 2 years

What a beautiful young lady. True heroes are the ones that do the right thing as you have here. I salute you sir.

1Entrepreneur · 2 years

Look at those dimples! What a doll!

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