This post on the front page today made me think of Japanese Weddings. This guy and the commenters would flip their shit if they were invited to a wedding here.

autobulb · 1 year

Oh man it's funny when social conventions or traditions get in the way of the meaning and significance behind rituals.

Isn't the whole point of a public wedding reception to show to your family and close friends the bond you have for each other? Yet, it has evolved into this distorted thing over time where massive amounts of people are invited, people who couldn't give two shits about the couple, but are socially obligated to go to save face and then have to complain about having to spend money on a gift.

And because so many people are invited, the families of the couple and/or the couple themselves have to pay large amounts of money to put on this (now) meaningless display. So, instead of adjusting it to fit their own personal budget to entertain their families and real close friends, they ask the participants to pitch in for the costs. That makes no sense, the whole point is for the family to say, "hey guys, this awesome thing is happening and we would love for you to join us and celebrate with us!" But no, that is all thrown away when you ask the reluctant participants to donate money just to pay for the party itself. There are no winners except for the wedding planners and all the people involved in making the wedding happen.

/rant

Sorry, I just think that the way modern weddings are now, both Eastern and Western styles, is incredibly stupid and shallow and trying to argue about which one has the heavier burden for the guest proves my point even more.

zorospride · 1 year

[deleted]

tabakoinochi · 1 year

I'm not sure if I understood correctly, but I think it was outrageous to the OP of the front page post because they were requesting 80-100 for the meal as well as a gift.

In Japan, the money IS the gift, so it's not at surprising.

bicycly · 1 year

I ended up making a post on it.

I wonder if the wedding couple's family is related to some other country that has this kind of tradition like Japan.

atgm · 1 year

I'd rather give cash than a gift since I know the cash will be used and appreciated... and like it the other way around, too. I'd rather have cash to pay for the wedding and honeymoon than have to go through a registry and ask for a bunch of stuff I probably already have/don't need.

Edit: I've been to a few weddings here and most people usually don't make a "profit" anyway. :x

Poofait · 1 year

I always thought I should be paying a minimum of ¥30,000 to not look cheap. I'm dreading having to attend multiple weddings close together but luckily that hasn't happened yet. I'd be so poor!

netweight · 1 year

I understand where the askreddit author is coming from.

I've not once attended in my life a wedding where we had to "pay" for our seat. So if someone invites me to a wedding here and then requires me to "pay" for my seat (and also require a separate gift) citing "traditions", I too will raise an eyebrow.

Now if ever I do get invited to a wedding in Japan and I see that it is tradition there to give money instead of gifts, I'd gladly attend and give that money without batting an eyelash.

(Btw, the bride in the askreddit thread was Irish and other Irish redditors did not see it as Irish tradition.)

netweight · 1 year

What's funny is that most of the commenters would've given that amount anyway, as a gift, but can't fathom paying the same amount as a requirement.

worldsfirsanalrapist · 1 year

It's funny, I was thinking exactly this when I saw it. But if that's the case, it needed better explanation.

Tannerleaf · 1 year

Most of the one's my wife's been to recently seem to cost 30,000 JPY, this is in Tokyo though.

zaphod777 · 1 year

I was thinking the same thing but my comment got buried. I prefer the Japanese style, why should people go into debt when they are just starting out?

I got married in Vegas with immediate family only. No one can get angry for not getting invited since no one did.

wonkydonky · 1 year

What's standard in Japan isn't standard in the West, and what's acceptable here isn't what's acceptable there.

For example, in America, it would be worth not attending a wedding over a mandatory gift fee. This is not so in Japan, and I think most people would likely adjust to the traditions of the couple getting married.

KyotoGaijin · 1 year

Yeah, me too. I saw that while riding the bus this morning and chuckled to myself, "I'll bet everyone in /r/Japan is thinking, "How lucky! Only $80-100!" But I really doubt that the parents could be Japanese. Japanese people may follow some of their own traditions overseas, but they wouldn't try to force them on others.

myfeetstink · 1 year

I would not attended a wedding if there was a mandatory fee. Ever.

Dirtyrobotic · 1 year

It's like when you arrive and give your name to the staff you have to hand over the gift in a special Goshugibukuro (envelope) that gets handed back minus the gift.
It is the start of your participation in blessing the couples marriage.

takatori · 1 year

Only 15000 Yen?

I've never been to a wedding expecting less than 30,000 Yen.

blumpkin · 1 year

I don't get it. Why would you want to pay several hundred bucks to go to somebody else's wedding? I'd just say no thanks and stay home, I think.

jaylink · 1 year

This guy and the commenters would flip their shit if they were invited to a wedding here.

HAHAHA!!! That's exactly what I was thinking, too.

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