[UPDATE] Puking and cramps after orgasm: Seeing the gyno, but how can I get her to take it seriously? [It didn't go well.]

nicebumluv · 1 year

Wow, what the absolute fuck. That's horrible! You should complain to whatever office she works out. She was completely slut-shaming you, and totally avoiding the problem at hand just so she could do so. That's just honestly terrible. I can't even imagine. I would've probably lost my temper and cussed that stupid woman out. 3-5 times a week isn't even that "insane" by any stretch of the imagination. Actually, I wish I knew the number of that doctor so I could call her and ask what kind of shitty medical school she went to.

Ugh.. I'm so sorry you dealt with that. I guess the only thing you can do is keep looking for answers from other doctors. :( But this time, go for a gastroenterologist since gynos aren't seeming to get us anywhere with this issue.

mysexytimeacct · 1 year

Call up the office she works for a file an official complaint. What she's dishing out isn't medical advice.

Veeks · 1 year

DEFINITELY get a second opinion. Man, I'd have yelled at that gyno SO MUCH. I'm furious on your behalf.

homesteadlaika · 1 year

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yosuke_rush · 1 year

You should sue her. And I'd definitely try to get your money back, because it is incredibly ridiculous to have to pay someone that should be a safe place and then they laugh at you and verbally abuse you. Seriously. I strongly suggest you sue her.

slowdrowned · 1 year

You sure found the gold standard of bad gynos. Holy Christ, I would be livid. Is there a Planned Parenthood or equivalent within a reasonable drive of you? They should be more sex-friendly.

arual_x · 1 year

I was taken in to A&E a year or so ago with cramps so bad I was crying, screaming and delirious. I was told by various different medical staff throughout the ambulance ride, admittance & checks etc that it could be a burst cyst, a miscarriage, a "severe uterus infection", all kinds of things. I was hyperventilating, on heart monitors, writhing around in pain. They basically gave me painkillers then referred me back to my GP, concluding from a URINE SAMPLE that I was just having "period cramps". 2 hospitals 4 specialist gynos and a complaint letter later, I get a diagnosis for endometriosis, which had I ignored could have left me unable to have kids and in chronic pain 1/4 weeks of the year. Fight them. Fight for your right to a diagnosis. They won't always give it willingly. I had a gyno very similar to the one you're describing - I took my other half with me to the appointment and got the same "are you two married? But you live together?" lines, the same "I have never heard of anything like what you're describing... So you must be exaggerating" rubbish. I fell apart, but my other half stood my ground for me - gave the story some 'credibility' by backing everything up, and eventually demanded that the doctor give us be benefit of the doubt and just run 1 test. He did. We were vindicated.

Don't put up with it. You have the right to know what is wrong with you. It is your body, you know it better than anyone - what hurts, what's different, when something feels wrong. Find someone that will listen, if you have to go through 100 doctors. Trust me, knowing 100% that you have an answer, good or bad, is worth it.

PermaRod · 1 year

That sucks. I can't give you any advice but I just thought I'd post to say that you aren't crazy and shouldn't feel bad. Good luck finding a good gyno and getting some help!

durianno · 1 year

I'm so sorry this happened to you - she should NOT be practicing medicine. That's crappy advice and she didn't take you seriously. I hope you can find a gyno that listens to you and that you can get help with your problem. Can you look at reviews of doctors online? Or get recommendations from friends?

harvey-birdman · 1 year

Aside from the very obviously bad medical advice (so just cut out all orgasms...? Gee, fucking thanks for that insight doc) I think your gyno acted very unprofessionally by belittling something that is very clearly troubling you.

In any event, definitely speak to another gyno and, as others said, it would be good to seek out a sexual health clinic. If it were me if also lodge a complaint against the gyno for her bad professional conduct. But it's up to you if you want to do that.

By chance do you live in a generally more conservative area? That might explain the sex negative medical bias.

Edit: and if she thinks 3-5 times a week is excessive masturbation then I wonder what she'd make of my once a day (at the least) habit that I've kept for the better part of the last 7 years. I know others in r/sex would put even that frequency to shame with routinely helping at multiple times a day :p

VaginalKnives · 1 year

I'm sorry your doctor was stupid. The trick I use is to ask friends and family for recommendations.

Most OB/GYNs know nothing about sexual problems that aren't just simple infections. They're really more about helping to birth babies. The ones who aren't freshly out of med school learned that female sexual pain was all caused by mental problems, whereas newer doctors know more about the physical causes and treatments available.

Ring up gastroenterologists and urogynecologists near you. You may be able to refer yourself.

Don't let this bad doctor get you down. You want to find a solution rather than just hiding the symptom by abstaining. There is a solution out there, you just need to find a good team-mate to help you get there. You can ask the secretaries or nurses if they deal with that kind of problem at that clinic.

fixedzero · 1 year

Please come to Toronto and let me take you to my gyno. This might sound silly, but you should find a forum or subreddit for the lesbian community in your city - generally, that's the best way to find doctors who are sex-positive and not uptight about things like BEING A HUMAN.

BipolarType1 · 1 year

Unethical. A clear violation of AMA and medical board standards of care. I'd report the doc.

mizzmoxie · 1 year

Ok where do you live? Speaking as someone who went from rural to city, I can see this being something you would encounter in a rural area (plus your comment about having to drive an hour to get a doctor your insurance would cover). Does your insurance company offer a list of doctors they will cover? Might want to do some research on each doctor they list on a rate-your-doc site (such as http://beta.healthgrades.com/). Just so you know, 3-5 times a week is COMPLETELY NORMAL and puking after an orgasm is not. Get yourself to a gyno that will actually listen with an adult, modern mindset. And if you can't find one your insurance will cover GO TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Seriously, they take all insurance I know of and also offer scaled payment based on income.

EDIT: Probably should have read comments to see that others have suggested the same as I did. So, you know, sorry to repeat. Good luck!

[deleted] · 1 year

I felt like I was being slut-shamed or something.

No fucking kidding! You should give this bitch some kind of medal for slut-shaming. She could enter the slut-shaming olympics. What kind of fucking bitter malicious sex-negative cunt enters a profession that deals heavily with women's sexuality? Seriously, fuck her.

shortergirl · 1 year

Do you have a GP/primary physician that is closer to you? If there isn't a gyno you can see close by, you can see a non-specialist. In any event, the gyno you saw is awful, and you should file a complaint.

I've had a similar feeling after sex recently, but it was caused by a few things I could pinpoint (position was sort of like a sustained crunch/situp, which I held for about 35 minutes, and at least 7 super intense orgasms). Is there any change to your masturbation routine that lessens the nausea/cramps? (If you answered in the original thread, sorry, I'm using my phone.)

ben_ji1974 · 1 year

Have you ever been checked for a possible hernia?

Farun · 1 year

I hate the fact that people like that are seriously able to become doctors. Being careful in case someone is a drug addict or simply a hypochondriac is understandable, but pressuring your morals on other people? Pisses me off so much.

soradsauce · 1 year

ARE YOU SERIOUS? I am legitimately appalled. I'm tempted to write that gyno a tersely worded letter. Jesus. I've had a couple bad gynos that told me my sex drive/sexuality/having sex at all before marriage is a bad thing and will cause cancer (!), and after about the age of 16, I started just walking out of the office after basically giving them the what-for.

In order to find a good gyno, I'd call and ask to see if you could talk to them before your appointment to see what they would say. Preface it with the fact that you've had bad gynos that aren't taking you seriously and you want to find the right one. Good gynos are super good about making their patients comfortable and assuaging any fears of reticence.

EDIT: Clearly, she needs to orgasm more, because she's a raging bitch. 3-5 weeks is NOT an insane amount. She's just being an asshole.

homesteadlaika · 1 year

That wasn't a gynaecologist, that was a time traveller from the 1950s. You've been trolled, don't worry about it.

chostings · 1 year

get on angies list and gyn-shame your gyno. fuck that bitch

homesteadlaika · 1 year

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somecrazybroad · 1 year

Is this common in America? This behaviour would cause a Dr to lose her license here in Canada.

[deleted] · 1 year

What. This gyno should lose her license instantly. She is doing about everything wrong. A doctor should never judge, and if they can't help you, they need to include a colleague. Oh, and laughing is about the worst reaction, at least in this way.

It is not your fault, your not a slut (wtf), keep fighting for your orgasms!

VATISMYVAGINA · 1 year

I've blown up on a doctor for less. Yikes. That is so terrible. Ridiculous. I can't think straight out of anger that people like this exist.

jizzquiz · 1 year

Jesus, are you in Saudi Arabia? Thats stranger than fiction. Id be really interested in talking to her. NP, MD, or DO? Ive moved a lot and as a result switched gynos about every year or two. Never in my life have I been treated in such a way, not even by army gynos, when i was in, or my troop/clinic PA.

It is always well within your rights to call a doctors office ahead of time to speak to them. You're hiring them to take care of you (this is assuming you get a choice. If you do not, ask questions relevant to their care when you see them, if they don't quite jibe request someone else). You could even call around and give an abridged version of your horror to the receptionist. They know the doctors. They'll steer you in the right direction.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Whoever you saw may be accustomed to a much older generation or any host of reasons for her draconian logic. Is she very old? What you need is a doctor who, uh, understands the human body.

Noggenfoggerel · 1 year

Your gyno was ridiculous. I can understand that the vomiting might be rare, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be followed up on. I thought she was very unprofessional.

I know nothing about medicine, but it seems possible that some kind of nerve ending is being triggered. So a neurologist might know something that a gyno doesn't?

Also, I spent one minute searching google and found this, so you are not alone. http://www.steadyhealth.com/vomiting_after_intercourse_t95073.html

ShaneWegner · 1 year

That gynecologists sucks. You had a legitimate problem important enough to come in, and she shrugged it off? Why would you make something up, no one likes doctor visits that much. Plus the rest of the advice sucked. Imagine a car mechanic: "Oh, your car makes horrible grinding sounds when you push on the gas pedal? Well, that'll stop if you just never drive it. I am so good at my job."

You do need to find a new gyn you click with. Hmm, how to do that? Maybe tap your friends network to see who they like or ask your main doctor for a referral? Wonder if Angie's List covers gynecologists? ; -)

elenazz · 1 year

I have known women with similar symptoms. Try looking into Vaginismus and Vulvodynia. It's somewhere to start anyway.

I don't know anyone whose orgasms cause vomiting, but cramps and severe pain are for sure a thing that happens. My friends have had varying degrees of success with their treatments...more importantly they have all found physicians who take their vaginas seriously. I really hope you have better luck with your next gynecologist (or whatever type of specialist you end up finding).

If I weren't so horrified from reading your post right now I would go anger-masturbate in solidarity. That woman crazy.

jocelynhale · 1 year

What a C U Next Tuesday!

RubyAmnesia · 1 year

FUCK THAT GYNO! (not literally) find a new one even if it's just for regular checkups, what a fucking nightmare.

roboeyes · 1 year

Ugh, as a future women's health NP, that is embarrassing. This is the exact thing that I want to help women get away from. I hope you find a solution to this problem.

Assaultman67 · 1 year

She then criticized me for masturbating and told me that because I do that, I can't orgasm with my partner and it's all my fault for being so horny all the time. She seemed horrified by the amount I masturbate. (is 3-5 times a week obscene or something?)

That's pretty much on par/subpar for most men.

l4n · 1 year

There are about a dozen websites that take reviews for doctors. This one should suffer bad reviews.

rbkc123 · 1 year

So sorry, homesteadlaika, both about the physical issues and the outrageously judgemental stupid doctor. That was a jaw-dropping post, girl. I sure hope you find relief. As a short guide to finding less insane GYN care:

In general I have found over the years that doctors in college clinics, planned parenthood, anyplace that mainly serves younger people usually are much more gentle and openminded, the doctor I saw at the big college associated clinic did not even blink when she asked "monogamous, of course?" and I said "bi-ogamous, I have two men but everybody knows about everybody" even though I know it was not the answer she was expecting.

Most judgemental? Suburban family practice doctors, hands down. Followed by Christian OB doctors.

loki93009 · 1 year

That gyno is awful. So sorry that happened to you. Ive always been worried about something like that happening. I got preg at 19. And avoided going to the doctors because I was worried they'd shame me for being so young. But Luckily I found an amazing one in Michigan. GL to you.

homesteadlaika · 1 year

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Incruentus · 1 year

Worst doctor ever. Complain and don't delay. I can't imagine what a lecture she'd give a woman for getting pregnant out of wedlock or contracting an STD.

nerdysweet · 1 year

Wow, what a bitch. >.<

xoxoParasLynn · 1 year

This happens to me quite often though I don't throw up. But the contraction are so great I get cramping like feeling so bad I bawl like a baby. Sometimes just slight pain. Idk why..

RubyRyder · 1 year

Your local kink community should be able to connect you with kink-friendly and sex-positive MDs in your area. Any BDSM clubs in your town?

infiniteslinky · 1 year

Have you ever stooped to consider that there are some underlying psych issues causing your problem? I know you dont like the Gyno you saw but someone with 25 years of exp not knowing what to make of your issue may mean that it is not simply a physical problem. It seems to me that if you keep going to doctors, you will continue to get the same type of wtf.. really? reaction.

**Edit

Im sorry that was really mean and dismissive. If you feel strongly like there is something physically wrong with you by all means find a doctor that will listen to you as this one didn't seem willing to. Be careful diagnosing yourself though and be open to lots of different possibilities though is really where I was trying to go with this.

todd200 · 1 year

I quit reading the comments when I learned that being a Conservative means your against premarital sex and masturbation so this all may have been said.

Im really sorry your having such a hard time. Your previous gynos are stupid and not fit to be doctors. I would find a highly rated MALE gyno. It may be uncomfortable at first but im willing to bet a male gyno will be more understanding. My girlfriend has a male gyno and absolutely loves him.

waxninnocence · 1 year

See another fucking doctor? I'm really not sure why you're asking. The story is interesting I guess, but the answer is obvious.

I've seen shitty doctors before. I solve that issue by not going back -- it's really the best way.

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