I give drugs to kids

aenea

You might want to submit this under a different title. I've got autistic triplets, one of whom has had cancer and suffers on and off from anxiety and depression, another who has OCD traits as well as extreme self-injury and aggression, and another with a whole hell of a lot more anxiety than the other two (and what seems to be some neuropathic pain that no one can pin down yet- might be anxiety, might be pain). They're also almost 15, so they've got the whole puberty (stresses AND bullshit) thing going on as well.

I'm pretty confident in our doctors (we've got some good ones- researchers fall over themselves to get autistic triplet DNA, and I don't give DNA without consultation), but it's always good to get another opinion, and I've actually found some wonderful doctors on reddit who have given me some good advice. For our family meds take a second place to education, therapy (speech, OT, and behaviour as well as basic life skills teaching and a whole lot of love) as well as relaxation techniques. "I give drugs to kids" doesn't inspire confidence, and does a disservice to those of us whose children actually need medications for some reason. Our doctors don't 'give' drugs- we use them when all other methods have proven to not be effective enough to enable my kids to live the healthiest lives possible.

aenea

I don't find a lot of it surprising- what I do find surprising is the fact that she's apparently still popular enough in the U.S. that articles like this are necessary. I'm Canadian, so it really doesn't matter to me that much if she's popular, or elected, except for the point and laugh factor. At this point I kind of feel like a voyeur watching a slow-motion car wreck in my tailgate, because there is apparently still a necessity for critical articles about her.

Not that they're going to do a lot of good (from what I can see)...Vanity Fair seems to preach mainly to the converted. It seems pretty obvious that she's a self-centered twat who looks good on camera, who the Republicans can make good use of because she's a 'feminist, special needs hockey mom', regardless of the fact that she's never shown that she gives a crap about anything to do with special needs, women, or hockey for that matter. She's a paper doll, but she's a wildly popular one, and from what I can see there aren't enough articles trying to take her down from the pedestal that she's apparently on.

aenea

I feel so behind the times. My husband ended up Canadian because we met on Fark.

aenea

Go to sleep.

I've seen you post enough other times to know that you give a damn about other people, so maybe you can hang on just a bit longer. Venting and asking for support is fine, but you've got more in you than just giving up at this moment. You don't deserve that, and your mom sure doesn't.

It hurts like fuck to have a family member die, and sometimes it's even worse to have 'our people' distracted when we want them. But you've already shown that you're bigger than killing yourself out of spite, so go to bed. We're here to listen to you if you want to stay up, and we will, but this is not what you want. At least give yourself the courtesy of making a choice when you're sober.

aenea

I'm not usually rah-rah-rah Canada!, and my husband's more of a space geek than I am, but I was surprisingly happy to see this.

aenea

It probably won't mean much if you weren't a horse-crazy Marguerite Henry fan growing up, but I'm just taken aback.

aenea

You are more than welcome to post here. I'm sorry that you're going through this. It is devastating when your future seems to be yanked out from under you. I had a bad breakup 7 years ago and it took me about 18 months before I really even felt that I could breathe again.

I can't promise that things will improve right away, but time will help. If you won't be at your university for a while, would you like some help in finding a community resource near you? If you would, please do pm me. Or talk to your doctor (if you have one)...it's normal to be sad and depressed after a break-up, but it is worrying when you want to kill yourself. Getting some short-term help until you can get some longer-term help is not a bad idea.

You're not over-reacting and you're not being a dick, but do let your friends know what's going on, and your family if you can. Keep yourself busy, and get out of the house. The less time that you spend obsessing over your relationship the faster you will heal, and you will.

As far as the eating goes- try very bland foods (or meal replacement drinks help for some people), and try to eat while you're occupied with something else. Don't focus on keeping food down, but for at least a little while, find something else to do while you're eating. I've got a 'nervous' stomach, so if I'm upset, whatever goes down comes right back up again. Eating while you're busy with other things sometimes helps. But if it continues, do go and see a doctor about it because dehydration can get ugly very quickly.

aenea

I wear crocs all the time in the house- they're still the most comfortable things that I've ever had on my feet. You can always tell which hospitals allow their staff to wear them, as if it's allowed, everyone from surgeons to orderlies have them on.

I personally don't wear them out of the house, but my husband's kind of clueless about it. There is nothing more erotic than looking down at his feet when we're out for dinner and noticing the crocs.

aenea

That's one very cute child.

aenea

It can also be expensive, as well as particularly unpleasant for library employees. I worked in a University library for around 12 years, and while I didn't care if people had sex in the stacks (most of them just stopped if you asked them to), at this time (before computers were available on every floor), people just used journals to jerk off. I worked on the science floor (which also included the 'design' and 'fashion' journals for some reason), so people would grab the latest bound copy of the year's worth of Vogue and have at it in the carrels. I was also lucky enough to work in a University with a large animal science department, and some people took the 'animal husbandry' journals a bit too personally. I don't even know what the replacement cost was, but since we did replace them very regularly it sure added up. It's been a while since I've been in the school library, so I don't know whether all of the journals are now online, but that replacement was a real cost that was passed directly to students through the library budget.

It's also pretty unnerving to reach into a carrel or onto a desk to pick up a book and unexpectedly have your hand in the middle of someone's bodily fluids. That particular issue has only gotten worse as people bring their own laptops in to study areas and private carrels and feel the need to leave their mark. I don't care where people look at porn (although I'd prefer that my kids aren't around at the time), but at least have the decency to contain your spooge. Even if people are sharing a dorm room, chances are that they can grab 5 minutes alone in a bathroom.

aenea

I'm glad that you got it worked out :-)

aenea

Don't forget as well that there are often times in a very long-term friendship where you just can't agree with your friend about something important, and you just kind of have to leave it at "we don't agree on this, so let's stop talking about it. Our friendship is more important than who is 'right' on this issue".

I've found that over the years, with a good friend, there are always going to be one or two areas that you come across that you just don't talk about much, but that doesn't need to impact how you feel about each other, or your friendship. I hope that it works out well for you.

aenea

I think that this is a great idea- I've always found that one of my biggest problems with depression is the lethargy- the idea that it's just too damned much work to even roll over in bed, let alone get out of it. Sometimes I need to break things in to very, very small steps to accomplish them, especially when my list is so long :-)

So today I'm going to:

clean out the fridge, find my cordless drill, and fix my daughter's dresser.

aenea

Yep- I messaged keysersosa, so hopefully it won't show up again. Thanks.

aenea

Ghost Story.

aenea

First Among Equals.

aenea

Rats: Observations on the History and Habitat of the City's Most Unwanted Inhabitants. I picked it up by chance at the library, and it's one of the more engaging and fascinating books that I've read. It combines biology, history, sociology, urban planning- well worth the time.

aenea

It looks like this is a good place to find out where the free or sliding scale services are in SF, or I would call 211, as they always know what resources are available. Just call and tell them that you need help with depression and anxiety, and you should be able to get it.

Good for you for seeking help for yourself- I'm sorry that I'm on my way out the door at the moment.

aenea

I agree with everyone else that seeing a professional is the way to go- I would recommend being somewhat prepared for him to be very angry, still very depressed, and embarrassed at the same time. It can be very disappointing for people when they wake up, but I've met a few who have also been very embarrassed because they 'failed' in their attempt. Let him know that he's loved, and other than that, follow his lead.

And I'm sorry for your entire family.

aenea

We're pretty lucky in that way- my son actually lives in a group home now (because of his aggression and self-injury), and they have pretty regular (positive) contact with the police in their area, and a lot of education on both sides. He's always been pretty good with them, but who knows what would happen if he was already upset or scared. At least he's stopped running as much, so hopefully it won't ever be an issue. I don't think that anyone would really want to hurt him, but I can easily see how it could happen.

aenea

Well, obviously when my kids move out I'm going to have to go back to school and do some research. I'd agree that some of us grow up as huggers, but I have met a lot of people who, after they become an adult, just don't have a lot of friends or relationships, and they don't have the opportunity to do it any more. I have no doubt that there are differences between cultures- I grew up in a very multicultural area, where a lot of (straight) men had no hesitation at all about hugging, kissing, or even walking down the street holding hands. And half of my extended family pretty much faints if they touch each other, while the other side hugs and kisses quite a bit.

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aenea

TROPHY CASE

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