Another update on nightbiscuit, meds appear to be helping, but I just got fired.

xribbit

I sorry :( hope you get a job soon :)

xribbit

{{hugs}} again

please continue to keep in touch.. you can talk to me anytime you need to talk

xribbit

so very sorry :( I hope she is in a safe place away from her father. I hope she is getting help and counseling now..

xribbit

Sorry to hear this :( I care too :(

xribbit

..would be an interesting name for a new band

xribbit

Hey thin people: stop being so self-righteous ;)

xribbit

Most people see no harm in visiting a doctor for a physical illnesses, yet they are unwilling to seek help for mental problems.

Some of the causes for this attitude include:

Family belief/religious beliefs, family attitudes that belittle/trivialize mental problems.
"Be a man" the attitude that you should tough up and ignore.
the belief that mental issues cannot be cured, that they are 'here to stay' and that you have no choice.

If you have a mental problem, you should seek help. There is no shame in this. You should also explain (if you feel this will help you) to your loved ones/friends about your problem.

Sometimes some members of your family / friends may not initially accept what you say: remember, this is their problem, not yours.

disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, this is just my opinion.

xribbit

Well I'd definitely hope for financial security and more disposable income, so I could get stuff for myself and people I care about..

Also good health for people around me...

xribbit

I hope you find better friends.. I used to go thru life as the person on the edge but now I know someone who sees me as the only person in the room. I don't know how long it will last but while it does I will be grateful.

Never thought I'd find someone like that.. never thought anyone would find ole-me interesting., now I believe in miracles

xribbit

well we are here, we are your friends, we are happy to talk with you anytime :)

Life is hard when you are suddenly short of friends :(

Hope you feel better soon and things improve. Have you any hobbies or interests which would enable you to meet nice people?

xribbit

"I wish I was smart enough to do X"

I went shopping the other day with a friends mom. She is a very intelligent and lectures in a university.

(We were shopping for a PC for her) and she was amazed at my mostly mundane knowledge of parts and specs.. she kept telling me that I must be pretty smart.. and I was like 'yeah right minus having the phD and teaching a roomful of adults like you do'

My point is.. other disciplines seem amazing and smart and complex if you aren't so familiar with them. When I was studying I used to strongly believe mine was the dumbest simplest major (it probably is haha) but the truth is every area of study has its complexities.

PS: if its any consolation I flunked out too. There's no bad in discovering that something isn't your thing.. doesn't mean you are any less smarter than others.

My humble suggestion would be to not compare your major with others - and be assured it's definitely as tough and complex as anything else in college

xribbit

thats really good advice there a1mck, hope it helps the original poster.

I do agree, it seems that feelings of inadequacy could be connected with depression.

xribbit

also have you tried meditation and breathing exercises? they can help you cope (practice when you are at home in peace, and gear your mind to be able to cope in situations later on)

xribbit

I'm very sorry. It's possible that you dont feel very comfortable with crowds.

Your friend is a nice person. Glad she talked with you. FWIW, we, here at SW are also here to talk to you anytime you need someone to talk to. You can message me anytime you like, or if I'm not around feel free to chat to the moderators here, they are good folk.

In life, we look at the 'perfect' people around us and feel insecure or inadequate at times. When one is an introvert and/or a loner they find it hard to make new friends.. but I can tell you, there is always someone out there for you.. there are people out there who are right for you. I know it's cliche but I never believed it till recently myself.

In life its not uncommon to feel that others have pulled ahead of you in the race of life.. that you are missing something perhaps.. as I grow older I don't have this feeling that much because somehow I realize we all get to experience what we want to in life..

Please tell me more about the panic attacks? I had a mild one once.. Just stepped out of the room for a few minutes and I was ok then :)

xribbit

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but believe me, nobody has panic attacks to feel wanted. That's like electrocuting yourself to feel wanted :(

xribbit

thank you. I sent an email explaining things carefully, and I've checked and reread everything I ever mailed her.. there's nothing nasty there.. at worst I sound kind of arrogant or something but I've honestly explained I didn't mean it that way..

If she was willing to get so very angry over a failure to communicate on my part, then I cannot trust her to not get angry in the future.. and there's no fun talking to someone when you are afraid they may get mad at something you say.

Still.. I would like to end things positively.. I am not expecting her to take back the things she said which were bad - I would just like her to at least see that I was being sincere..

Maybe that will happen.. who knows maybe we will be friends again.. I would just hope she understands eventually and does not have unresolved anger towards me. I'm not saying I play such a significant part in her life, I hardly know her.. but all the same its a pity for her to feel angry towards me, without cause

Either way thanks to you for talking to me, and everyone who read this. I know this is a small light topic and not the sort of serious thing that belongs here.. but I hope this will help others in some small way.

xribbit

Also, I probably shouldn't have jacked this thread.

Not at all. Thank you for posting your story here!

xribbit

This is a small story about how I lost a friend, and I wanted to share with you in the hope of helping someone out there. Does not end in a Bell air

Basically, I met someone who seemed like a fun person and decided to be their friend.

I used to chat with them, email them etc.. We'd talk about her ambitions, mine, life, etc.. general stuff

A few days ago I went through some odd things.. and I said a few strange things in my emails to my friend.

Well, first off, my friend yelled at me for something or other and I responded politely in a rather hurt way with something to the effect that "If you are going to blow up about a minor misunderstanding, then maybe we shouldn't be friends"

Eventually, my friend cooled down.. but at this point I was experiencing some problems and I sent some rather strange out of character replies to her. Nothing mean or nasty or evil.. just that I said things in a somewhat patronizing way..

For example, I'd say yes dear, good luck with [specific ambition] - now when I said this (as with anything else) I sincerely meant it. also I'd say stuff like "get rest, sleep well etc" (not trying to be patronizing, but with genuine concern on my part)

Basically my friend got thought I was being sarcastic and got extremely pissed off.

Looking back I suddenly realized that I've been sounding quite strange, and sent her a sincere apology explaining that I've been going through some odd times.. and I'm very sorry for sounding so strange, and I didn't mean anything in a bad way... and that most of all I'm being sincere in whatever I said - I explained that I'm not trying to laugh at her (why on earth would I want to laugh at someone?) and so on., but I guess it was too late.

This wasn't enough for my friend. She basically sent a really nasty email and told me to never contact her again.

I'm not really that sad, I think its a pity to end a friendship so harshly, based on misunderstandings, and I feel that my friend didn't need to condemn me as harshly as she did because speaking that way to someone could hurt them - if I were severely depressed for example, some of the stuff she said could be pretty dangerous.

I think I escaped that particular 'friendship' early, and I am happy for this.

I'm not trying to dissuade anyone here from finding new friends.. Just saying be cautious and think thru what you say/write and accept the fact that some friendships were never meant to be.

Also, if you get a strange out of character mail from a friend, give them a chance to explain themself, give them the benefit of the doubt, and if you must end a friendship, end it kindly. End it positively. Just gently explain that you don't want to be that person's friend right now but try not to crush the life out of them in the ending

(the above paragraph is for 'regular normal' folk.. none of the nice people I know here would behave like that.. I'm just putting this info out, as what I feel she should have done)

Friends make a difference. family does too. If you are lonely, you owe it to yourself to reach out and make new connections. There are good people out there.. you have to keep searching

Lastly, when choosing a friend, choose a good person. Someone who is compassionate, down to earth, and not liable to get angry quickly..

I did learn one thing - when sending a message or mail to someone.. check the tone of your writing and see if it could be misinterpreted - what you may see as genuine concern could be seen as patronizing, what you see as humor could be seen as laughing at someone.. and so on

edit: also if you get angry with someone and decide to end a relationship, be it friendship, or love, try to end it in a positive way. Allow them to explain their errors, and allow them to go their way and you go your way, without hurting them or yourself..

Sometimes in a moment of rage one is tempted to say hurtful things.. but words are powerful.. and if someone is in an unstable state, it may just be enough to make them be unable to go on.

So, no matter how strongly you feel, try to let go someone gently, with compassion., if you have to let go at all.

xribbit

sorry dude :( that's some harsh stuff you are going thru there..

xribbit

you could be suffering from severe depression. Please seek urgent help. depression can be cured with medicine/therapy etc.

xribbit

i cannot forgive my self for the sins i'v done, even if ppl i'v hurt have forgiven me.

We have all done things we are not proud of :( In my case, I wonder how much of my life was a failure.. but ultimately I realize that I'm trying to be a good person and I have to extend compassion towards myself

Have you tried metta meditation?

xribbit

The only person I have left in my life is my girlfriend. And I can’t talk to her about how I feel. We’ll work out our differences sure. But she already has enough things to worry about – I don’t want to add my questionable mental health to that list.

Don't feel that way. When you are in a relationship, your feelings and problems matter just as much as hers - she should show compassion and understanding towards you, just as much as you are showing towards her in this post.

I would also suggest making new connections with people in other professions?

xribbit

talk to your parents - explain what you feel. they may not realize - when they understand I'm sure they will do their best to make you feel better?

xribbit

You seem to be suffering from severe depression?

I felt like that when I was depressed

xribbit

Have you tried breathing exercises and meditation? Somehow I feel they may help you find inner peace, and eventual happiness.

I know its very hard to reach out to people when every time you do, they hurt you..

I wish you happiness, and I humbly invite you to keep talking here. We are here for you.

xribbit

TROPHY CASE

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login